


I've Been Looking for You

by Resacon1990



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: All Stories Connected, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Big Happy Ending Really, Doomed Soulmates, F/M, Family Fluff, Family Soulmates, Five Different Stories, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Fíli POV, Gandalf POV, Happy Ending, Hearts Get Broken, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Modern AU, Multiple Pairings, Nori pov, Nothing too big though, Old People Finding Soulmates, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Thorin Meddles, Thorin POV, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unrequited Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-01 22:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4036828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resacon1990/pseuds/Resacon1990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts on the wrist when you're young. The first words your soulmate will ever say to you are tattooed in a colour, red, green, yellow, blue, <em>any</em> colour each with their own meaning, and the day they're said and the moment you touch your soulmate is the moment they travel up to settle on your forearm.</p><p>Five stories, five different bonds, five endings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gandalf/Radagast

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to write a soulmate AU. I've ranted and raved about it for years but I finally decided to suck it up and just write it.
> 
> Although as soon as I started I realise that there's so much _potential_ and so many ways each soulbond could go, so this fic turned up!
> 
> There's five stories, although each one is interlinked together by the common character of Thorin. He's my main boy throughout this whole story and he is present in each one, including the last one which is dedicated entirely to him (and Bilbo!). 
> 
> Each story addresses a different kind of bond. Platonic, unrequited, doomed, no-bond, and romantic. It's happier than it sounds! I promise!
> 
> But anyway, enjoy it :D And please, let me know what you think!

It never fazed Gandalf that he'd never met his soulmate. Of course he has questions, hundreds of them, but he's never brought himself around to caring enough to ask them.

He's always been interested in his mark, especially the colour. A bright green line of words that wrap around his wrist. Every other child's wrist in his town had red words wrapped around it, and every child knew those words off by heart after looking at mirrors and asking others what they say.

Gandalf doesn't know what his words say. He'd never bothered to find out. Something in him never felt like finding romance. Companionship, yes. But romance and sexual desire never interested him.

Over the years he'd see fellow classmates squeal with excitement when another would say the words written on their wrist, and Gandalf always watched in fascination when the bonded pair would touch hands and the words would glow before snaking up their arm to rest on the underside of their forearm, easy to read and bare to the world. All of the words were red though, and Gandalf would always glance down at his green words before tugging his sleeve down to hide them before carrying on with his work.

It never bothered him until others started asking about it in college. What did the green mean? Couldn't he just change the colour? Why does he not even care? Doesn't he want to find his soulmate and just settle down? Have a family? Maybe it meant he was different, _too_ different, and soon Gandalf was self conscious enough he wore long sleeves all the time to hide his mark and never spoke to the others.

He just didn't have an interest, he knew. He just didn't want to be involved in all this soulmate lover thing.

Eventually college was finished though and Gandalf left the small town he grew up in and hit the big city with a degree in one hand and something to prove in the other. He founded a publishing agency with a handful of others from a book club he'd joined during his final year of college, hired many a good employee, became well know and well famous... yet he still wore long sleeves and never talked about his mark.

He wasn't ashamed... just _hurt_.

He doesn't care that he's never met his soulmate, but he does care that it’s not _normal_. He doesn't want a green mark, he doesn't want _any_ mark. He'd rather have no soulmate than this blasted curse of a green mark that earns him odd looks and whispers.

One of his employees sees it one day though, the young man Thorin Oakenshield. Gandalf is in a meeting with him and Gandalf's sleeve hitches up enough that his bright green soul-mark stands out brightly against his black sleeve and catches Thorin's eye.

Gandalf resists the urge to tug it down nervously as he waits for Thorin's reaction, but he's surprised when Thorin only regards it briefly before smiling at him.

"One of the lucky ones then, huh?" he asks, and Gandalf sits confused. Of all things he'd consider the mark, _lucky_ is not one of them.

"You know what it means?" Gandalf reluctantly asks. It's the first time he's gotten a positive, or well _neutral_ reaction to his mark. Thorin pauses in his writing for a moment and glances at Gandalf with a furrowed brow.

"You don't?" he questions, and the look on Gandalf's face must be enough as Thorin silently puts his pen down and fixes a small smile on his face. "It means a platonic bond, Mr. Grey-"

"Gandalf."

"-which means that your soulmate is out there, but they're more of a... well, a _friend_." Thorin looks lost for a moment before he clucks his tongue as he seems to gather his words properly. "Red words mean a romantic bond, like my own," and he pulls back his own sleeve to show Gandalf red words wrapped around his wrist, "purple words, like my cousin has, are family bonds. Balin and our cousin, Dain, are exceptionally close. Blue words, well, I don't really know what blue words mean. But my friend Nori has them, and I have… a _suspicion_ as to what they mean. Black words..." Thorin trails off for a long moment and Gandalf has half a mind to reach over to touch his hand in reassurance but Thorin looks up at him with a grim look on his face before he can. "Black words mean a severed bond."

Gandalf feels an ache all of a sudden at those words, and he can't stop himself from asking, "how do you know?"

"My sister," Thorin answers quietly, and they both share a mutual moment of silence. Gandalf can't help but think about the poor lady somewhere with a black mark, and he wonders about the story behind the black words.

It's not his place to ask though, and instead he sits quietly and waits for Thorin to compose himself.

"Green words though," Thorin finally says, "means a platonic bond. You're not destined for a lover, Mr. Grey. But you are destined for a very good friend."

Those words are all that Gandalf ever needed to hear, he realizes, and he glances down to look at his wrist, lingering on the word " _beautiful_ " scrawled across it. He can't help but feel a heavy weight he didn't know he was carrying lift from his chest.

"How do you know these things?" he quietly asks, and Thorin shrugs.

"Family experience," he answers, "one of my good friends works in the Bonding Office. It's his job to know all of the colours and meanings. There is more, but I can only remember a handful."

"Family experience?"

Thorin smiles. "As I said, we have red, black, purple and green words in my family. My brother had yellow words before he died, but we don't know what they mean. Nori is working on finding out what yellow means, but he hasn't found others with the same colour yet."

Gandalf nods slowly before he raises his head and offers Thorin a small smile. "I have a request of you, Thorin," he starts, and Thorin just laughs and starts to scribble onto a nearby piece of paper.

"I'll contact Dori and Oin and see if they can do lunch."

 

 

The two of Thorin's family members are in fact free for lunch, and Gandalf feels a bit nervous as he follows Thorin from the building and down the road to a small cafe. This is the first time some of his questions are going to be answered, that he's actual going to _voice_ his concerns. It's nerve-wracking but also exciting, and Gandalf has a small bounce in his step at the thought of finally _understanding_.

He can tell who they are almost as soon as they walk into the cafe. They're the only two people laughing loudly with matching bright green words drawn over their exposes left forearms, and Gandalf instantly feels comfortable at finally _finally_ seeing more people with this bizarre green mark on their arms.

Thorin herds him over and claps the other two on the shoulders. "This, my dear cousins," he says, "is Gandalf."

One of them, the youngest of the pair, gives Gandalf a large grin as he stands up to give Gandalf a hearty handshake. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Gandalf," he says, "my name is Dori."

"It's just Gandalf, dear fellow," Gandalf can't stop himself from saying, but he shakes Dori's hand back and turns to the other one sitting at the table. He looks grumpy but he still sticks his hand out for Gandalf to take.

"Oin," he grunts, and Dori groans as he gestures for Gandalf to sit down. Thorin has disappeared, and Gandalf looks for him only to see him at the counter giving Gandalf a small smile and thumbs up.

"Don't worry about him," Dori is saying, and Gandalf looks back at him to see Dori waving a hand at Oin, "he's a grumpy old blodger. Always has been, ever since we were children."

"You've known each other for that long?" Gandalf asks with a raised eyebrow. Dori grins and holds out his arm for Gandalf to read.

"Since that day in the sandpit where I asked him if I may borrow his shovel and he said-"

"' _Bugger off_ '," Gandalf reads out and Dori laughs at his surprise.

"He's latched onto me since then," Oin mutters from beside Dori, "can't shake the rat off."

"You'd miss me too much," Dori snorts and elbows Oin roughly until the two start bickering about something. Gandalf doesn't listen that closely, just watches the two in fascination. They're like an old married couple, is all he can think. There's affection and fondness in their voices as they insult each other, but there's not a hint of romance… just pure comfortableness.

It's something Gandalf hadn't realised he craved. Comfort and companionship.

"You alright?" Thorin asks as he drops down into the seat beside him with a tray laden with coffees and sandwiches. Gandalf just nods mutely and keeps watching Dori and Oin with a smile.

Yes, this is exactly what he wants.

He asks them later, when they've stopped bickering, what a green worded bond is all about. Dori does most of the explaining, Oin just choosing to munch on Dori's uneaten sandwiches when his friend isn't looking. He pitches in with ideas every now and again though, and Gandalf soon finds that a green worded bond is _exactly_ what he wants.

It's acceptance. It's companionship. It's friendship and love without expectations. It's everything that Gandalf has ever wanted and _for once_ Gandalf actually looks down at the words written on his wrist and thinks that maybe he would actually like to meet his soulmate.

Later than night he looks at the words written on his wrist properly and pieces the disjointed words together.

_Isn't that a beautiful sight?_

 

 

It's typical though that as soon as Gandalf decides that he wants to actually find his soulmate, it doesn't happen. He becomes more sociable though, now that he is no longer wary of people thoughts on his coloured mark. He joins Dori and Oin in their social circle, becomes close to Thorin and meets his family, improves the editing company as well as he can and even expands it overseas. He lives his life as wonderfully as possible, and some part of him is always looking out for his soulmate somewhere.

But not once does he come across someone who says those exact words. He's heard variations. People say the word “ _beautiful_ ” even once and he’s glancing their way. His friends are sympathetic to him, especially as those around him find their own soulmate while Gandalf doesn’t, but Gandalf doesn’t want their sympathy.

He hits his seventieth birthday faster than he’d expected. Soon after words like “old” and “retirement” start to hit his ears from where they’re whispered in the corridors of his building. Thorin insists that they have no meaning behind them, but they leave an effect on Gandalf that he doesn’t care to admit.

It’s decided when he hits seventy-two that retirement is for him, and he hands the company over to Thorin before he packs his bags and boards the first flight he can find.

Thorin is, of course, disapproving, and he manages to convince Gandalf into accepting partnership for the next three years. Gandalf has to think about it but eventually he agrees after the two of them have wrangled the terms down to the a three year contract where they're partners, but Gandalf doesn't have to come home unless Thorin needs him further.

Then Thorin surprises Gandalf when he asks to take the first jump with him. They take a plane up to the peak of the country and spend a few days near a quiet lake. Gandalf realizes that Thorin probably needed the time away as well, and he thinks about Thorin's brother having passed only a few months earlier and he completely understands.

On the fourth day in Thorin gets a phone call about his nephew and has to leave early.

Gandalf takes Thorin to the airport himself despite Thorin's protests at the early hour, and Gandalf buys him a coffee Thorin can grumble into while they wait for the boarding signal. He hasn't told Thorin that he's booked his own flight for shortly after, and he decides not to when he sees Thorin winding himself up about his nephew.

He raises an eyebrow though when he comes back from the bathroom to see Thorin flustering over a short blond man, and he sees red letters have traveled up Thorin's wrist to settle on his arm.

Thorin doesn't say anything though and Gandalf watches him go with a small smile. He most likely won't see his friend for a very long time, and he absently rubs his green wrist. Some days he wishes that _Thorin_ was his soulmate, but he knows that the two of them clash too much for it to be so. Instead there's some lucky small blond man somewhere who has Thorin… well, _maybe_.

He travels for a long time. He tours countries with beautiful gardens, with dedicated temples, with good food and fine company. He visits poor countries, rich countries, old and new countries. He meets new people and sees new places… but it’s all a bit lonely for him so when he decides to expand his horizons and head towards one of the countries furtherest away from his own, he also decides it’ll be his last trip before he heads home. Thorin hasn't needed him in the last two years, but maybe this last year of their partnership agreement Gandalf might actually help out some more.

The Great Wall of "whatever this blasted place is called" had always been a point of fleeting interest. Something that Gandalf would see in movies and TV shows and he would make a mention on how he wished to go there one day. Now that he’s in the country though, he thinks that acting on his wish is the way to go and he joins a tour group heading that way. They’re all a bunch of foreigners like him, and Gandalf doesn’t recognise any of them.

So he glances at all the left arms he can see. He feels a pang at seeing some of the marks are black, and he thinks of young Fili back home who's lost his own soulmate at such a young age. But everyone in the group has either red marks, black marks, and all of them are clearly founded with none of the writing around anyone’s wrists.

There is one man though. He looks around the same age as Gandalf but less put together. In fact, Gandalf is quite surprised at the sight of him. Here he stands dressed neatly and looking tidy, while the other man is wearing a frankly disastrous outfit with large clothing and a funny hat that looks like it has come from Thorin’s friend Bofur’s rather bizarre collection. He looks a proper mess, but on his wrist is bright green words that catch Gandalf’s attention. He lingers on them for a moment, trying to make them out, but he’s hustled along by the tour guide too quickly for him to be able to get a good look.

 It doesn’t matter in the end, he thinks with a sigh. He’s much too old now, and he doubts he’s going to find his soulmate in a _foreign_ country of all places. He chooses instead to follow the crowd and walk beside an elderly lady with a tired face and black mark. She’s interesting and kind, and when Gandalf smiles at her, she smiles back.

They reach a point in the tour where the tour guide calls them all to a halt and they all disperse. The elderly lady, named Galadriel as Gandalf had found out, politely asks if Gandalf will take photos of her and Gandalf willingly goes with her. They squeeze between another couple of tourists and Gandalf snaps the photos before handing over his own camera for her to do the same.

He’s smiling at her, trying not to think about how strained it feels on his face, when he feels another person bump into his side. He lets out a little grunt but doesn’t say anything as he waits for Galadriel to take the blasted photo. Finally he hears the click and as soon as she lowers the camera he turns to glare at the person who bumped into him.

It’s the man he noticed before, the one with the green mark still around his wrist, and the man gives him an apologetic smile before he jerks his head out towards the scenery.

“Isn’t that a beautiful sight?” he asks, and Gandalf freezes at the words and the warm feeling that suddenly makes his arm tingle, and his mouth drops open as he regards the other man with a stunned look.

“Isn’t it just?” he can’t stop himself from saying, the words just slipping from his lips and the other man’s answering grin makes Gandalf feel warm and tingly.

Its instinct for him to just extend his left arm and offer his hand to the other man. He can see his wrist just out of the corner of his eye, the green words glowing dimly and the other man grins harder as he reaches out with his own glowing wrist and grabs Gandalf’s hand tightly.

“Radagast,” he introduces himself as their hands touch and there’s a sudden surge of warmth all through Gandalf’s body and his hand tightens on Radagast’s automatically.

“Gandalf,” he says in reply before glancing down at his wrist to see the words starting to unfurl and crawl up his arm. They settle on his forearm brightly, and he glances over at Radagast’s to see the words he’d just said shining on Radagast’s forearm.

“Well, Gandalf,” Radagast chuckles and Gandalf think that this is just _perfect_ , “fancy meeting you here.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's Gandalf's story. Next up, Nori/Dwalin/Ori!
> 
> Also, thought I'd just write a list of what each coloured mark means, well, the marks we currently know of.
> 
> Green - Platonic  
> Red - Romantic  
> Black - Ended because of death  
> Purple - Family
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Stay tune for next time!
> 
> [my tumblr](http://resacon1990.tumblr.com/)


	2. Nori/Dwalin/Ori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter :) That was, to be honest, probably the happiest chapter out of all five of them. But that's okay!
> 
> Like it says in the tags, there is definitely a happy ever after!
> 
> So onward! And I hope you all enjoy this awful love triangle, I know I do XD

Nori found his soulmate when he was nine years old. The third day of new school to be exact. He'd been sitting at those odd little tables they have set up for the children, whether to do arts and crafts or eat at, and he'd been hungrily eyeing up Dwalin's sandwich across from him. He hasn't brought his own sandwich, he'd smuggled it into Dori's backpack before they left for school since he knew that once again Dori was going without food so Nori and his brother could. 

So he was hungry, and Dwalin didn't look like he was eating his food any time soon. He was much too busy shouting at his friend Thorin, and Nori had the idea that since Dwalin was too busy playing he wouldn't miss his food, would he?

Of course he regrets thinking that as soon as the sandwich is in his mouth and Dwalin is giving him a horrified look before he's calling out for the teacher, yelling, "Nori stole my sandwich!" at the top of his lungs. 

Instantly the teacher is standing over them with her arms crossed as she frowns down at them. "Nori," she starts, "did you steal Dwalin's sandwich?"

"No!"

"You're a liar!" Dwalin bellows, and when the teacher whirls around to scold Dwalin, Nori goes still as he feels his arm burn and he glances down to see the blue writing around his wrist start to move on his skin. Only a little, but it's enough to make his eyes widen as he looks up to stare right at Dwalin.  

Dori had talked about this so many times. About how one day Nori was going to feel a burning sensation on his arm around his wrist, and that will be because his _soulmate_ will have just said the words written there. Nori had always been upset at the fact his words had said "you're a liar" but suddenly it doesn't matter because he's _found his soulmate_. 

"Well at least I'm not a meathead!" he can't stop himself from shouting back and Dwalin... Dwalin doesn't look shocked or happy. He just looks completely furious as he lets out a roar and lunges across the table at Nori. 

Their teacher luckily intercepts with a cry of "enough!" that has everyone shrinking back. Nori does as well, but Dwalin still looks completely furious as he stares Nori down. This isn't how Dori told him it would all happen. He said it'd be a happy moment. 

Maybe it's because he hasn't _touched_ Dwalin yet?

"I'm sorry, Dwalin," Nori quickly says, thinking on his feet, "that was mean and not nice."

He sticks his hand out like he'd seen Dori do to other adults many times, offering it to Dwalin. The teacher looks a bit stunned, but gives him a smile of approval before turning with a raised eyebrow to Dwalin.  

It seems he caves under pressure as Dwalin mutters a "sorry" before taking Nori's hand. 

Instantly Nori feels a shock flick up his arm, and he drops his hand from Dwalin's grip to clutch his arm and watch in fascination as the blue words around his wrist uncurl to slide up and settle on his forearm.

He still doesn't like looking at the words " _you're a liar_ ", but they're his soulmate's words and he can't help but grin as he looks up to share a smile with Dwalin. 

Except Dwalin is not there, he's sitting with his friend Thorin and shooting him dirty looks, and when Nori glances down at Dwalin's left arm he can still see a ring of red around Dwalin's wrist. 

It doesn't make sense. 

When he gets home he asks Dori, but Dori frowns and shrugs his shoulders. He doesn't even know what the green colour of his words mean, let alone Nori's blue. Nori doesn’t like that answer, but he accepts it grudging and creeps over to his sleeping baby brother to see what his say. He can’t actually read the words though, Ori’s wrist is still too small so the words blend together to create a red line, but Nori still trails his fingers over them and smiles when Ori opens one eye to peer curiously at him.

“You ‘kay?” Ori grumbles, and Nori just smiles and hushes Ori back to sleep before curling up around him.

The next day is a bit of a shock when Thorin comes up to him and tells him that he likes that Nori was the one to admit that he was wrong, not that _bonehead_ Dwalin, and he offers his friendship. Nori doesn’t hesitate in accepting, excited to have a friend, and there was the added bonus of being _Dwalin's_ friend as well.

 

 

Dwalin’s wrist doesn’t change at all in the years that Nori gets to know him. He waits patiently everyday, and when they ask him where his soulmate is since it’s clear his bond has been found, he just smiles and shakes off the question. He doesn’t know why he just doesn’t tell them. 

It’s probably because he can tell by now that Dwalin clearly isn’t his soulmate.  

It doesn’t become a torture at all. Nori is surprised at how relaxed he is around Dwalin despite the constant pull towards him. He jokes with him, hangs out with him, is _constantly_ in his space, and yet he feels perfectly content. The bond only insists he be around him, not anything else, and for now, Nori is okay with that. 

It doesn’t surprise him though when Thorin bails him up after school one day after they’ve stopped by Dwalin’s house to drop him home. They're parked in Nori's driveway when Thorin reaches over to grab Nori's left arm and tug his sleeve back to show his mark. 

"It's Dwalin, isn't it?" he asks, and Nori pulls away from his grip as if burnt and he hides his arm against his chest. 

"What? No!"

Thorin raises an eyebrow, making Nori glance away in shame as Thorin sighs, "it wasn't a question, Nori."

He bites his lip for a moment before he slumps in his seat and stares up at the roof. "And what of it?" he snaps, "what if it is Dwalin? How would you even know?"

"Those are the first words he ever said to you," Thorin points out and Nori glances at him in shock, "don't think I didn't notice. As soon as you two shook hands your words traveled up your arm and you started sending him goo goo eyes. It doesn't take a genius to put that together."

Nori doesn't know if he should feel offended or not, so he just sits in mortification instead. "Am I really obvious?" he whispers, and Thorin claps his shoulder gently. 

"Not really," he replies, "I just know you well. If anything you just look like a really caring friend. Overly caring."

Nori groans as he slides even further down his seat and covers his face. "What do I do?" he moans, because honestly _what does he do_? If Thorin knows then it won't take long for Dwalin to catch on and Nori doesn't want to think about the state of their friendship when Dwalin finds out that Nori's been in love with him for the last ten years. 

"Nothing," Thorin sighs as he slumps down as well as he can in the drivers seat. "Just let it go."

"You know I can't just let it go, Thorin," Nori tisks, and Thorin's shrug makes Nori grit his teeth. 

"Well, what else can you do? You've got a blue mark, Nori. I don't know what it means, but I know it's not right. It doesn't match Dwalin's. Something just doesn't add up."

Nori knows this. He's spent countless hours just staring at his roof wondering for all the world what a bloody blue marks means. He'd even tried to google it, but only a few articles had popped up and they all seemed like a load of mush. It seems that blue marks are incredibly rare, and Nori hates that he had to have such a difficult mark.

"Do you know what really gets to me though?" he ends up asking, and Thorin looks at him with an open gaze that has Nori smiling sadly, "that the words on his wrist are ' _well at least I'm not a meathead_ '. The-"

"Exact same ones you said to him," Thorin finishes in a murmur, and Nori nods his head. "I've seen them. I often wonder what happened there. By all accounts, you should match."

"Flaw in the system," and Thorin agrees with a hum. 

They don't talk about it any other time. A year goes by quickly and soon Thorin doesn't even look at him with a small hint of sadness, and Dwalin doesn't look as confused at the long silences between them all now. Nori tries to keep their friendship at the same level as what it was, but Thorin's words have hit home to him and he can't help himself from withdrawing from Dwalin just a bit. Obviously it's enough for Dwalin to notice though as he starts to give Nori bewildered looks whenever Nori doesn't cluck over him like a mother hen when he does something stupid or smart or _whatever_. 

 

 

It's their final year, when they're all nineteen and filled with gusto for the big wide world ahead, when it all comes to a head. Nori is standing in the locker room pulling out all his things when he hears footsteps behind him. He thinks its Thorin coming to check up on him for the _hundredth_ time, and he sighs as he stuffs a book into his bag.  

"I'm fine, Thorin," he grunts as he reaches for another couple of books, "would you stop worrying about me?"

"I can't help it."

Nori freezes briefly before whirling around to stare up at _Dwalin_ with wide eyes. Of course it has to be Dwalin who's standing there, and Nori feels a little faint at seeing his friend looking so intensely at him.

"Imagine my surprise, Nori," Dwalin starts to say as he steps forward, and Nori stumbles back until his back is pressed up against the lockers, "when I realise that we're finishing high school today, and one of my best friends of _ten years_ hasn't spoken to me properly in over a year."

"Dwalin, I can-"

"And _imagine_ ," he continues without listening to Nori, "when I find out that its because said best friend hasn't told me that _I'm his soulmate._ "

Nori's gut feels like it's just dropped to his shoes, and he feels an insane amount of panic as he automatically tucks his exposed arm against his side and starts to shake his head. He has to think of an excuse, something to get him out of this situation, but he hasn't been that quick of a thinker when Dwalin is up close in space ever since the day they met. 

It doesn't help that Dwalin's hand settles beside his head as he leans down until his face is hovering right in front of Nori's, and Nori feels his breath hitch in his throat at seeing Dwalin so close.

"Don't even try to deny it, Nori," Dwalin murmurs, and Nori jumps when he feels Dwalin's other hand slip around his forearm and press against the mark on his arm, "I know my own words."

"But what about yours?" Nori breathes, "they haven't changed. You're not _my_ soulmate."

Dwalin glances at his hand pressed against the lockers, the bright red band around his wrist standing out ridiculously so. "They say the exact words you said to me," Dwalin points out, "' _well at least I'm not a meathead_ '. Maybe it's faulty." Dwalin shrugs then as he drops his gaze to smile at Nori. "Maybe I don't care."

Nori doesn't have much time to give a response as suddenly Dwalin's lips are against his and he's being pushed back into the lockers for an entirely different reason.

 

 

Nothing really changes after. The three of them stay close, Nori and Dwalin more so, and Nori doesn't like to think of Thorin's face whenever he sees Dwalin and Nori together. Nori it _happy,_ he has his soulmate, and if Thorin isn't happy for them then… well, that's just is problem isn't it?

Thorin's younger sister gets pregnant while they're all tossing up what to do with their lives. Nori can't believe it; a teen pregnancy of all things, and Thorin's eye always twitches when Dwalin brings it up. He's not ashamed of his sister, and when Fili is born Thorin obviously dotes on him and starts a running contest with his brother Frerin to see who's the better uncle. Nori attends Dis and Vili's wedding a few months later, and it's the first time he's properly looked at Dis and he feels giddy when he sees that on her arm is bright red words and on Vili's is the same.

They're soulmates, and Nori rubs his blue words the whole way through the ceremony and ignores Thorin's looks.

They all hit the big city after a year. Thorin takes up a job in a new publishing firm and it doesn't surprise Nori when Thorin makes fast friends with the CEO and climbs the ranks. Dwalin disappears off to the military for five years, and Nori hates that the only way he can contact Dwalin in all that time is via some stupid letters for _five bloody years_ , and Nori decides to work odd jobs for years, taking jobs wherever he fancies and thinks about potentially joining one of the Bonding Offices one day.

He still doesn't understand why his bond-mark is blue, or why Dwalin's has malfunctioned, and when he first approaches the Bonding office neither do they.

Eventually though Dwalin does return and Nori is excited. He knows how much Dwalin loves his job, and he doesn't fault him for that. Of course he's gutted when he finds out that Dwalin won't be staying in the city for very long and that he's agreed to take a up a series of tours for the next few years.

They're kept busy and after a while Nori comes to love it. He eventually decides on taking up a position in the Bonding Office and it keeps him busy. He ends up on the research team, finding out what the green marks mean and telling Dori, figuring out reasons for malfunctioning marks, helping to solve the problems and discover fail-safe ways to ensure that bonds are _real_ and not faked. He has his best friend in the city with him constantly, and his partner comes home for a few months before disappearing for a more months in a row. It's not ideal, but it makes Nori happy...

Not everything is perfect though. Vili dies after the birth of his and Dis's second child with Thorin's parent’s death at the same time. A car crash, quick and fast deaths but it leaves Thorin and his brother Frerin scrambling to pick up the pieces. Then, years and years later, Frerin dies in an accident overseas. Nori struggles to keep Thorin together until Dwalin gets home and they put Thorin back together as a team. 

Fili loses his soulmate not long after, and Nori hates seeing the black words written across Fili's arm. He even sees on Thorin's arm bright red words and Thorin rebuffs him every time he tries to ask _what the hell happened_. Fili comes in to his office at some point and mentions yellow markings, _Frerin's_ yellow marking and Nori hates that Fili now knows what it means. The two of them agree to never tell Thorin… it would break his heart and Nori and Fili both agree that Thorin already spends most of his time looking broken hearted over many things.

Nothing is perfect and this soulmate business seems to hurt more than anything else.

He misses Dwalin terribly, hates that Dwalin can't seem to understand that. They're together for so many years that the question of _marriage_ comes up so often but Nori can't ask Dwalin without possibly ruining their mood. They spend more time apart than together, with Dwalin constantly in other countries and when he's home they fight sometimes too much and can't stand to be around each other. It's awful and painful, and Thorin's sad look whenever Nori mentions it makes his hands curl into fists.

He sees Dori and Ori a lot more when they eventually move into the city years after Nori had himself. It's only when he mentions it to Dwalin the next time that he's back does he realise that Dwalin has never actually met Nori's brothers so he makes plans that the next time Dwalin is in town to have them all meet for dinner, and he's giddy with excitement at the idea. 

Of course, it just so happens that what's supposed to be a _good_ day turns into the worst that Nori's ever had.

He's just hung up the phone on Ori, having confirmed for dinner that night at a lovely restaurant that Thorin had been bragging about for a long and irritating time, when one of the interns from down in ' _Bond Dissipating_ ' turns up and asks him for help. 

It's never a pleasant job to help dissipate a soulmate bond. But sometimes people just don't have the right soulmate, sometimes whatever entity out there is making these pairings screws up and people just _aren't_ compatible. It's horrible, but there's always a bad side to every good, and Nori accepts that.

He's thought about his own bond sometimes too… but no. Dwalin is his soulmate. It says so right on his wrist.

His acceptance of the fact though makes him one of the preferred specialists to dissipate a bond. He's not cold, but he is unaffected. This one will be no different than the rest, he thinks as he follows the intern into a room where a forlorn looking woman is sitting with her head down.

"Hello, Miss Tauriel?" he says as he steps in the room, and the lady looks up to give him a small smile.

"You must be Nori," she says, "Thorin highly recommended you."

He raises an eyebrow as he drops his clipboard to the side and picks up a small metal wand. It's light and looks harmless, and Nori finds it interesting that something so small and innocent can end something as powerful as a bond.

"You know Thorin?" he asks as he rolls up his sleeves before stepping towards her and gesturing for her to do the same.

"Yes, I'm good friends with Kili," she chatters as she tugs up her sleeve and smiles at him. "He said that this might be a case you're particularly interested in as well? Something about a similar bond-mark?"

"Really?" Nori frowns as he reaches out to take her arm, "and why is that? What kind of bond do you have?"

He turns her arm over to look at the forearm, having found her wrist blank, and he suddenly freezes as he finds himself looking directly at a vivid blue mark _exactly_ like his own. He doesn't read the words, it's not his business, but he can't tear his gaze away from the _blue_ covering her arm.

"It's not a very pleasant kind of bond to have," Tauriel is saying above him, "although the lady I organized the appointment said she'd only heard of it a few times before, only when other people have come in to have the bond removed. I'm quite surprised, I would've thought more people would want to be rid of it."

Nori feels a lump in his throat form at that explanation. "What kind of bond is it?" he hears himself ask huskily, and he glances up to see Tauriel frowning at him.

"An unrequited bond," she says matter-of-factly, "I would've thought you would've know."

Nori's world stumbles to a sudden halt as she speaks. Unrequited bond. Blue means…. blue means an unrequited bond.

 _Unrequited bond_.

Suddenly it makes sense. Everything makes sense. Why he's so in tune with Dwalin's emotions, but Dwalin isn't with his. Why he hates Dwalin going away but Dwalin never feels the urge to always come home. Why when Nori says he loves Dwalin it's meant with every fibre of his being, whereas Dwalin's always sounds like an observation or a comment.

It explains why Dwalin's soul-mark is red and still around his wrist because _he's not Nori's soulmate_.

"Nori?" Tauriel speaks into the silence and Nori doesn't want her to, "are you okay?"

"I need some air," he chokes out, and he thinks he's subtle in moving out of the room but he hears Tauriel gasp behind him and he _knows_ she's seen his mark. Knows it and hates it and he feels like scratching the mark off his skin until there's nothing but a blood mass left.

Bofur, the other Bond Dissipater, calls out his name as he hurries past but he just ignores him and rushes on. Luckily Bofur doesn't follow him, and Nori is able to stand outside and just _breathe_ for a few minutes because _what the hell does he do?_

Eventually he decides that, life changing information or not, he still has a job to do. He's pulled aside by Bofur when he does go back in, and he reassures him that he's fine. He heads back to the room in the back and brushes aside Tauriel's apologies to finish removing her mark. He remains professional and his tight smile doesn't leave his face until he finishes work that day and rushes towards his car.

There's still the dinner he has to get to, and Nori is sure he can get through the dinner with Dwalin at his side before he explains the situation with him. One last night with his family, friends, and partner and _then_ he can face it.

 

 

Everyone is already gathered at the table when he turns up. Well, almost everyone. Nori bumps into Ori rushing through the door, and he catches his younger brother by the arm to drag into a tight hug. 

"Where are you going, squirt?" he says as he does so, and Ori looks startled before he grins and hugs Nori back just as tightly.

"I thought I was running late!" Ori practically shouts in Nori's ear, clearly trying to be heard over the racket in the restaurant but forgetting just how _close_ he is to Nori's ear. It hurts, but Nori sucks it up as he pulls back and ruffles Ori's hair.

"Well you're not," he grins, "ready to come meet the elusive Dwalin? I've finally pinned him down long enough for you to meet."

"I'm thrilled," Ori laughs as he tucks his arm into Nori's and waits for Nori to start to walk towards the table. Thorin sees them from where he's sitting across from Dori's soulmate, Oin, and he raises a hand in greeting.

"Bout time you showed up," Thorin calls over, and Nori feels excited enough at the idea of having some proper _family_ time that he sticks his tongue out at Thorin like a child.

"Nori!" Dwalin interrupts them, and Nori grins as he pulls away from Ori to give Dwalin a large kiss and cling to him for a moment. It feels so nice to be pressed up against Dwalin again, feels like _coming home_ , and he sinks into him for as long as he can before reluctantly pulling back.

"I missed you," he whispers as he does so, and Dwalin's smile is soft as he strokes Nori's cheek gently. 

"I missed you too."

They linger a moment longer before Nori clears his throat and turns to Ori. "This, Dwalin," he says with a grin as he ushers Ori forward, "is my lovely little brother, Ori."

"Ah, so _you're_ the pipsqueak," Dwalin says, and Nori frowns at him before glancing at Ori.

He feels his whole body freeze at the look on Ori's face. He's seen that look, many many times, even he's had that expression on his face when he was looking at the exact same man some fifteen years ago, and there's a feeling to the air as…

"No…" he whispers just as Ori sneers at Dwalin.

"At least I'm not a meathead," Ori hisses back, and Nori feels his entire world completely lurch as Ori's mark… Dwalin's mark, _both_ of their marks start to glow and everything seems to fall into slow motion as the two touch hands and Nori watches the marks around their wrist unfurl and crawl up their arms…

He thinks he's going to throw up.

Nori can't think of an excuse as he just stares at the two with wide eyes because of _fucking course_ it has to be Ori who is Dwalin's soulmate. Of course. Because the world clearly isn't finished _fucking with_ _Nori_ _just_ _yet_.

He turns around and scrambles out the door before anyone can say anything. Better to escape in the awkward and tense silence than wait for the explosion. The door thankfully slams shut behind him and cuts off the beginning of their calls, and Nori blindly makes his way across the car park to his car as he fights off the tears starting to flood his eyes.

"Nori!"

It's Thorin, it's always Thorin, and Nori slams a fist into what he thinks is his car before he whirls around and points a finger at Thorin's chest, stopping him in his tracks.

"You knew!" he screams. "You _fucking knew_ , about my mark, about how this was going to go! You fucking knew, Oakenshield, and you never fucking told me! How could you? How could you do this to me?"

"Nori-"

"You recommended Tauriel to me because you _knew_ she had a blue mark just like mine. You _knew_ I'd find out from her what it meant! Why did you not just tell me!"

"Would you have believed me?" Thorin answers quickly, and Nori _hates_ just how calm Thorin is, "would you have believed that Dwalin isn't your soulmate? You've been together for _years_ , Nori! Practically half a lifetime and you know that I've never approved, that I always thought there was something else to all of this and you _hated_ me for it. You never would've believed me."

"You don't know that!"

Thorin doesn't answer, just starts to walk across the parking lot again and Nori shakes his head. He doesn't want Thorin to come closer, doesn't want his friend around him right now because his friend is an _asshole._

He doesn't resist though when Thorin is suddenly enveloping him in his arms as he murmurs "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" over and over into Nori's ear, and Nori slumps into his friend as he lets the tears come, let's everything out. He can't stop thinking about Dwalin in there, _his_ Dwalin who he's loved for so long, who he's given everything for… he can't stop thinking about how Dwalin and Ori are meant to be and he _hates everything_.

The blue mark burns unpleasantly on his wrist, and Nori… Nori understands _why_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nori, Dwalin, and Ori's story done! Although, Nori still has another chapter to go. After all, I did promise a happy ending. Next up, Fili!
> 
> And an update on the marks,
> 
> Green - Platonic  
> Red - Romantic  
> Black - Ended because of death  
> Purple - Family  
>  **Blue - Unrequited**
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Stay tune for next time!
> 
> [my tumblr](http://resacon1990.tumblr.com/)


	3. Fili

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS MY FAVOURITE CHAPTER.
> 
> Okay, so just a prior warning, there is a lot of violence and war in this one. Fili is part of the military and ends up in an ambush in a war-torn country, so there is a bit of that war stuff.
> 
> This is also, unfortunately, the saddest chapter. So, just be warned for that. 
> 
> AND! You all get to know what a yellow mark means! I've been asked about it a lot. It's very sad, almost as sad as a black bond, so just watch for that!
> 
> Please enjoy!

Fili's words weren't always black. Black words only happen when the person’s other half has passed away. It's not uncommon to see elderly people with black marks, but they're always high on their arms and easy to see. A sign of a shared bond. 

It's rare to see black words wrapped around the wrist. 

Fili's starts off as red. He goes through all of his schools with a red wrist and a happy face as he coos with his friends and wonders what his soulmate is like. It’s exciting, and something he really looks forward to one day. He can’t wait for the day he meets someone who is literally his other half, who completes him so much that he’s never lonely again. It’s thrilling to think about, and he loves spending time theorizing with his Uncle Frerin about just _how_ he’s going to meet his soulmate 

Uncle Frerin always grins and ruffles his hair whenever Fili turns up with another wild idea. Uncle Thorin always laughs, Fili knows he’s a skeptic despite the red mark around his own wrist, but Uncle Frerin asks Fili for detail and sighs with him. Fili had always been interested in his uncle’s _yellow_ mark, and whenever he’d asked anyone they’d always shrug. No one knows what a yellow mark means, and Fili had easily been distracted by Uncle Frerin’s excitement for his red mark. 

His mother had always worried about his and his brother’s marks. Dis's had long since been black, ever since their father had pass early after Kili's birth, but she'd always encouraged them to find true love in her own flowery and romantic way.

Even at seventeen years old he’s still excited. He’s never had a relationship; always been content to just wait for the day his soulmate would pop up. His friends think he’s crazy and try to set him up on blind dates, but Fili always turns them down. He’s _happy_ to wait. It’s something he wants to do.

After high school he joins the military. His mother isn’t thrilled, but his Uncle Frerin, who’s in the military himself, is excited for him and even helps him to get fit enough to pass the standards. Uncle Thorin joins them a lot and Fili loves his two Uncles as they push him to be his best. 

He quickly takes up a different trade as soon as he passes the fitness test, six weeks of basic training, and is officially declared Private Durin and joins the ranks. While his Uncle Frerin is an armourer, Fili becomes a medic. It’s hard training, but it’s worth every minute and Fili finds himself spending his time helping others instead of worrying about where his soulmate is.

Being a fatalist though, Fili knows that he’ll meet his soulmate when they’re good and ready. He still romanticizes scenarios a lot, but not as much as he once did. His focus is on his career and climbing the ranks.

 

 

He’s eighteen when his Uncle Frerin dies. A stray trigger in an ordnance went off and Uncle Frerin blew with it. Fili gets news of it when he’s standing in the middle of a field surrounded by all of his men with his hand on his gun and a man screaming at them to “ _get the fuck down_ ”. He’s told that he wasn’t supposed to have known until he returned to base in another two days time but Fili’s other Uncle had apparently been _very_ insistent. They make it back to base a day earlier than expected and Fili hitches the next ride back to civilization.

He’s home the day before the funeral and he slides into the house still in his fatigues in time for his mother to throw herself at him in a clinging hug that he breaks down into. His Uncle Thorin is right beside them with red eyes and a stiff back, and Fili reaches for his hand as young Kili barrels into their hug as all of them realise that there’s only four of them now.

There is a small opportunity to see… what’s left of Uncle Frerin, and only Fili and Thorin opt to go. Dwalin, who’d come back from his own deployment for the funeral, comes as well and the three walk into a small stuffy room where Uncle Frerin’s coffin lies. It's awful when Fili sees only Uncle Frerin's arm sticking out from under a white sheet, the rest of him too nightmarish to look at, and Fili stumbles forward as he sees that the yellow markings that had once wound around Uncle Frerin's wrist were now high on his forearm.

"He met his soulmate," Fili points out as he reaches out to touch the words only to pull away at the cold flesh his finger meets. Uncle Thorin puts his hand to Uncle Frerin's arm though, not seeming to mind the cold, and he smiles sadly.

"I wonder where they are now."

The funeral isn’t anything like Frerin. It’s stiff and awkward and Fili holds his brothers hand tightly as his mother and Uncle Thorin stand at the front and talk about how much of a lovable pain in the ass their brother was. Fili feels tears prick his eyes as he thinks about his eccentric Uncle, and Kili cries openly beside him.

It’s after the ceremony when Uncle Frerin is being lowered into the ground that Uncle Thorin stands at his side and murmurs a quiet apology. Fili hugs him tightly and refuses to let go.

“The military is dangerous,” Thorin says quietly, and Fili braces himself for the same barrage his mother had given him that morning, “… take care of yourself.”

“W-what?”Uncle Thorin pulls him away until they’re face to face. “We can’t lose you too, Fili. This is your passion, I understand that and I would _never_ ask you to give that up. But you have to promise that we won’t lose you like we just lost Frerin.”

Fili’s mouth stays open for a long moment before he finally shakes his head. “I can’t promise that, Uncle, you know-”

“At least _try_ ,” Uncle Thorin practically pleads, and Fili feels his heart tug as he shakily nods his head and Uncle Thorin hugs him tightly. “He was so _proud_ of you, Fili. We all are.”

Fili doesn’t stop himself from burying his face in Uncle Thorin’s neck and letting out a few wet sobs.

 

 

He accepts a deployment to the same war-zone Uncle Frerin was in along with his company a short while later. His mother screams the house down the night before he leaves and Fili kisses her forehead while she sleeps in the wee hours of the morning. Uncle Thorin bundles him into the car and drives him the half-an-hour trip to the drop off point, and Fili curls up in the passenger seat and watches the streetlights fly past in the soft silence of the car. He knows his mother is mourning, and Uncle Thorin squeezes his knee as they drive.

They say their goodbyes outside the bus after Fili has handed his duffel bag off to be packed into the truck, and Uncle Thorin grabs him in a tight embrace. Fili almost has the urge to not go, but Uncle Thorin gives him a bright smile and presses their foreheads together.

"You better come home in one piece," Uncle Thorin mutters, and Fili laughs as he squeezes his Uncle's shoulders.

"I promise," he says in reply and he pulls away from Uncle Thorin with a small smile before he climbs up into the back of the truck. Uncle Thorin stands by his car with a grim look, and Fili doesn't look away from him until the truck has turned the first bend.

Time flies by for a long time. He's swept up in pre-deployment training, learning his company once more but this time in a proper war zone. He gains the respect of his troops and ends up being the second in charge of his platoon. It keeps him busy, and when he goes to bed at night he barely has time to look at the letters from home before he crashes asleep.

His mother writes him at least twice a week. Sometimes Fili can get a reply back to her, but other times he can only read her letters. He loves them though, and he keeps up with what the family is doing through her. Kili writes every now and again, mainly to gush about his new friend Tauriel who's a fair few years older but the sister of the Legolas boy in Kili's class. Uncle Thorin writes sometimes too, but Fili knows that he's never been good with words so instead he waits for the fortnightly care packages from him instead which are always filled with goodies. The one time Uncle Thorin sends him a kilogram of orange crème chocolates is well remember throughout his platoon, especially considered they're the ones that _ate most of them_ , and Fili finds himself requesting specific treats for his company that Uncle Thorin happily provides.

Life goes on and months fly by. It's a shocking day when Fili is conversing with the camp armorers and one lady looks at him and pales before walking over.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out who she is once Fili sees her black mark, pale face, and the way she says "… you look just like _him_."

He finds Uncle Frerin's soulmate and he can't stop himself from embracing her as she sobs into his arms. It's jarring, and Fili wishes Uncle Thorin was here. He'd know what to say, what to do, but instead he's left holding a broken woman and fighting for words.

Her name is Elizabeth but she says to call her Wicket. "I used to play a mean game of cricket," she explains as she escorts him to the dining tent for a cup of the sludge they call coffee, "I was a very good bowler."

Fili likes Wicket, he decides. She's funny and charming, and reminds him so much of Uncle Frerin that it almost hurts. Branded up her left arm are black words, and Fili doesn't know if he wants to read them or not. She insists though, and his eyes tear up when he reads " _you're even more gorgeous when you're setting up a bomb, you know"._

"Always a charmer," Fili laughs, and Wicket smiles softly down at her arm before covering the words and rubbing them gently.

"We'd noticed each other across camp before," she explains another day when they'd just finished their firearms practice and Fili glances over at her with a raised eyebrow. "We were assigned to separate platoons though so our paths never crossed. I used to have a wandering eye, but it stopped when I saw him. He was handsome despite his bunged nose and slightly too wide smile," she laughs and grins at Fili, "but he was perfect to me."

"I wish you'd had longer," Fili murmurs, and Wicket smiles at him before pulling him into a one armed hug and dragging him off to the lockers to clean their weapons.

She demands stories that Fili is ready to give, and it makes him feel better when he sees her shoulders begin to lift. He thinks his own do too, and he thinks that maybe grieving together is better than grieving alone.

"His mark was yellow," Fili mentions one day to her, and she glances at him with a raised eyebrow, "did you ever know what it meant?"

Wicket looks thoughtful for a moment before she glances at her black words. "Mine use to be red, you know," she says quietly. "I use to wonder how I'd meet my soulmate and how much of a happy life we'd lead. I didn't think that I'd see him standing over a bomb one second only to see him in… in pieces on the ground in the next."

Fili is horrified at the thought, but Wicket presses on as she continues to empty the back of the LAV truck they'd been on that morning. 

"I saw he'd had a yellow mark when I'd first noticed him. I didn't know what it meant, but I didn't care. He seemed perfect for me and in the moment that our soul-bond had connected I'd never felt so alive."

"Wicket…"

"I got home from that tour feeling emptier than ever, Fili," she says quietly as she drops a crate on top of another and closes her eyes. "I wanted to find out who he was but I never had the heart. How could I turn up on your doorstep and say I was your Uncle's soulmate? That I was the last person he ever talked to?" She looks up and stares at Fili. "Because that's what the yellow mark means, Fili. It means that the last words you're ever going to hear are the only words you ever _want_ to hear. Having a yellow mark… it means when you meet your soulmate you will _die_."

Fili can't find words as he processes that, as he looks at Wicket and sees how dull her gaze is and he drops his own crate to swoop forward and hug her. If only he'd known, he thinks, if only he'd known.

 

 

Every day is part of a routine, and Fili thinks that it helps him deal with his grief. He'd accepted the deployment to get away, to leave the suffocating depression in the household and to let Uncle Thorin and his mother grieve. He knew they'd spend more time worrying over him and his brother, and he can tell by his mother’s letters that him leaving was a good idea. She sounds softer and lighter, and her pleas to come home have died out into " _when_ you come home".

Wicket reads some over his shoulder and she smiles at his family dynamics. He convinces her into joining him for one of the very rare video calls they're allowed, and his mother instantly informs Wicket she'll be joining them for Christmas when Fili gets back with her and that the spare bedroom is already set up and waiting. Fili wishes Uncle Thorin had been there too, but apparently he'd left on a trip with his old boss Gandalf, the crazy old man that'd always fascinated and unnerved Fili, and wouldn't be back for a few weeks.

Fili's _happy_ he finds, completely happy.

It's when they're out on a regular patrol though that everything comes crashing down around his ears. Wicket joins them as well for this trip for her explosive ordnance experience. It's just a small outing to a nearby village that Fili can't even pronounce the name of where various EUDs had been found on the roadside. Fili and half of his platoon have been roped in with another group, the "newbies" who'd only arrived a couple days earlier so that Fili and his company can go home, and they all pile into three trucks to make their way out.

There was a man in the other group that had caught Fili's eye, only briefly, but he'd felt a small tug in his stomach that he mentions to Wicket. Her eyes are wide when he says what he felt, and she instantly starts to shake her head.

"It's too similar, Fili," she starts to say but they pull up at the zone and pile out to secure the area before she can say anymore. 

Everything goes smoothly and Fili secures the area with one of the younger boys in the other group who eagerly takes on board everything that Fili says. It makes him feel good to know that other soldiers admire him, despite his young age, and he heads back to the trucks to change over with another pair. 

They've just sat down against one of the wheels of the trucks for a breather and some water when the first shot is fired. Everyone goes dead still, all glancing at each other and their guns to see what _idiot_ had fired their gun… only to hear a small " _fuck_ " before one of the newbie’s crashes to the ground with a bullet in his neck.

Instantly there's chaos as the newbie’s start screaming and gesturing wildly with their guns as Fili tries to find the platoon commander. He can't see him though, and he quickly takes charge of the small group he's standing amongst. 

"Stop fucking firing and take cover!" he bellows loud enough that all of them, his men and the newbie’s, stop firing instantly and dive for cover. There's bullets being fired around them, and Fili has a moment to hope that Wicket is all right before he grabs his walkie strapped to his shoulder and bellows for his commanding officer.

" _Durin_ ," his commanders voice crackles through the walkie, " _we've walked into a fucking ambush. We're pinned down in one of the buildings_."

"How many of you, sir?"

" _Only five, but the other four are outside and I can't get a hold of Rogers. I hope the bastard is getting them to safety. He's too gung-ho to be in an authoritive position_."

Fili presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose. Fucking Rogers. He's the worst person to have in charge.

"I have six of us here, sir," Fili says after a moment, "and I know that there are four up by Wicket. Who's our priority?"

" _Get to Wicket first. Her group has the least amount of cover. Get to them, get them back by the trucks then get your asses to Rogers. If all of them are dead then we're fucking screwed_."

Fili takes a deep breath before breathing a confirmative into the walkie and turning to the other five staring at him. One of the newbie’s has his head around the corner of the truck and Fili lunges over to drag him back. Twenty of them came here and already one is dead. There's not going to be another casualty on his watch.

"Alright troops," he barks and all five heads snap to him, "you need to listen to _me_ , alright? We've got to get down to the ordnance group and get them back here ASAP. They have the least amount of cover and they are our priority, are we clear?"

They all seem too terrified to disagree so Fili nods his head before standing up. They follow in quick pursuit, and Fili closes his eyes for another deep breath before he turns, nods at them once, then starts to sprint. 

Bullets ricochet past them as he sprints towards the third truck parked further away. He crashes into its side painfully before sinking into a crouch. Behind him there are five more crashes to let him know that all five had made it, and he scrabbles for his walkie after hearing an " _all present_ " from one of the boys.

"Wicket!" he bellows into the walkie, "Wicket! What's your position?"

There's static for a long moment before Wicket's voice comes shakily through the walkie. " _Fili, you lil fucker_ ," she hisses but there's relief in her voice, " _thought you prats might all be dead. Where the hell are you_?"

"On our way to rescue you. I repeat, what's your position?"

" _Currently about ten meters from the third truck and stuck behind a big ass fucking rock. There's only three of us, one wounded. The other one was gunned down before we even knew what happened_."

Fili swears at the news, but on the positive side they were only ten or so meters from them. He tries to find what rock they're behind, but their hiding skills are ridiculously good.

"We're camped behind the third truck now. If we give you some cover fire do you think you could make it?"

There's no reply for a long moment before Wicket finally crackles back, " _affirmative, running now_ ". 

Fili barely has time to bark out an order before Wicket and the other two burst out from behind a bush right in front of them. Fili throws himself around the side of the truck and starts firing bursts off towards wherever he thinks he can see movement while the other five do the exact same. Its terrifying and Fili feels his heart in his throat as he watches Wicket get closer and closer before all three are behind the safety of the truck and Fili yells at them all to take cover again.

Wicket's grinning at him in relief, but Fili doesn't have time to reassure her he's all right. He mentions that Rogers is in charge of the other group, and instantly Wicket pales, as does the other guy from their platoon they'd just rescued.

"That's insane," Wicket mutters, and Fili nods before he glances at his motley group.

He orders two of them to take the wounded newbie to the back of the second truck and start first aid while he takes the other six to get Rogers. Wicket insists on going with him, and Fili doesn't resist.

They surprisingly find the commander easily enough when they get to the village. He's shouting and screaming loud enough that Fili doesn't even need to use the walkie as he calls to him, and when the commander's troops flood out of the building at the sign of backup Fili is relieved to see that all of them are alive.

The commander is furious that Fili hasn't found Rogers yet, but he takes charge and soon they're all storming the small village. Most of the enemy seems to have fled, and only a few are remaining that are easily taken care of. But there's no sign of the missing four and Fili can feel the panic in his group start to rise.

Fili is with the commander and Wicket when he finds them in a dead ended alleyway. There's blood and mud covering the walls and floor, and Fili's boots squelch in the ground as he looks amongst the rubble. Rogers is dead, on the ground riddled with bullet holes and the commander sighs as he kneels at his side to close his eyes. They glance further down and see another one of the troops propped against the wall also gone. Wicket goes to close his eyes as Fili advances down the alleyway until he sees the last two.

They're both still alive. Well, mostly. One is kneeling over the other and Fili feels his heart tug as he realizes he's pleading for the other to just _stay awake_.

Fili's mother had tried to convince him not to go to war, but he'd ignored her. 

He wished he'd listened. 

He feels a burning on his wrist as he approaches the two, but he doesn't have time to glance down. Instead he continues forward until he realizes that the man lying down is the man who'd caught his eye earlier on. The one with the loose smile and the twinkling eyes, and he can't stop himself from rushing forward and dropping to his knees beside him.

"You'll be alright," he insists as the dying man's eyes flicker to his… and oh _god those eyes_ they're saying something that Fili wishes he understood but all he can see is the dullness and fear in them. "I promise!" 

He doesn't know what possess him but he grabs the man’s hand tightly in his own and squeezes as hard as he can. There's a sharp bolt of electricity that flickers up their conjoined hands and Fili feels his wrist start to _burn_ even more.

The man’s eyes widen and he gasps out something before suddenly he falls completely limp and Fili feels like his chest caves in as the hand in his suddenly drops from his grip. He feels this bizarre feeling of regret as he follows the hand down, and he catches a glimpse of bright yellow on his wrist.

His whole world stops and he stares at it for a long moment. The words " _you'll be alright, I promise_ " stare right back at him and Fili feels bile in his throat as pieces come together. 

The burning on his wrist intensifies, and he glances down only to scream when he sees the words on his wrist have turned a jet black and he screams and screams as everything falls into place and its soon Wicket who's pulling him off the other man as he scrambles to try to get back to... to his _soulmate_. 

The trip back to the base is an eerie one. No one looks at each other and Fili knows they're all listening to his whimpering and _pathetic_ cries of _nononono_. The five bodies from the battle are in the third truck, and Wicket had had to strap Fili into his seat lest he'd crawled in there to curl around his soulmate.

His soulmate.

He doesn't even know his name. He doesn't know the colour of his hair, the colour of his eyes, _his bloody_ _name_. He doesn't know anything and everyone is murmuring around him but Fili can't focus outside of the crushing reality that his soulmate is gone and his arm is burning.

He quits the army once the tour is over, and he doesn't look back. 

Instead of coming home victorious, he comes home with a defeated look, haunted gaze and a black wrist.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's Fili's story. It's the worst of the five, but it's my favourite chapter. I hope you all appreciated the utter heartbreak, it was wonderful to write.
> 
> Next up! Nori/Bofur!
> 
> (Also, the next chapter might be a little late coming up tomorrow considering my schedule (exams and things), but I will edit and throw it up ASAP!)
> 
> I hope you guys liked Wicket too. I don't write OC's often, so I hope she was okay. (My last OC was for my BigBang fic, and he was Oin's apprentice. He seemed to go down okay, although I felt sorry for the poor bastard XD)
> 
> And an update on the marks,
> 
> Green - Platonic  
> Red - Romantic  
> Black - Ended because of death  
> Purple - Family  
> Blue - Unrequited  
>  **Yellow - Soulmates words are the last ones you ever hear**
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Stay tune for next time!
> 
> [my tumblr](http://resacon1990.tumblr.com/)


	4. Nori/Bofur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, this one is accidentally longer than anticipated! 
> 
> I've used Nori's position in the Bonding Office to explore the kind of soulmate world they're in, and talk about a few more bonds that are included in this world, including aromantic, polyamorous, etc. 
> 
> Also, second to last chapter! Woo!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

For a long time Nori avoids everyone. Thorin constantly tries to contact him but Nori manages to artfully dodge all of his attempts. He doesn't want to talk to Thorin, hell he doesn't want to talk to anyone. The only person he even says a handful of words to is his coworker Bofur and even then they're snappy and harsh. 

He's not very pleasant to be around, and he _likes_ it like that.

Mostly though he's heartbroken that Dwalin hasn't _once_ tried to contact him. He knows from Dori that Ori and Dwalin are together now, not that he blames them, but he's angry that Dwalin has just _assumed_ they're no longer together. They aren't, but it’s the bloody principle of the matter.

So he avoids everyone and does his work before going home and moping. How many years of his life has been wasted on this hopeless relationship with Dwalin? At least it all makes sense now. Nori really is in love with Dwalin, his _soul_ lies with Dwalin… but the feeling isn't mutual and never will be.

It's heartbreaking.

Life goes on though and Nori becomes absorbed in a routine. He starts to remove bonds with a coldness that surprises even Bofur, and he shuts himself away. He contemplates having his own bond removed but when he pulls out the wand and hovers it over his mark he finds he can't do it. He still hates the words, the ones calling him a _liar_ , but when he looks at them he thinks about all the nights that Dwalin spent wrapped around him and all the smiles they shared and the kisses they gave one another…

Bofur finds him one time. He's sitting on the floor with his back against the wall and his arms around his legs as the small metal wand lies discarded away from him. The look on Bofur's face is enough to make Nori's eyes burn with tears once more.

"Why can't I do it?" he asks into the silence, and Bofur walks closer to him even as Nori tries to shrink away. "Why can't I get rid of him?"

"He's the other half of your soul, Nori," Bofur murmurs as he sinks to his knees beside Nori, "and you had that bond for so many years. Even one sided, it's still a powerful thing. You can't just give it up."

"Then you do it," Nori begs as he holds his arm out and stares at the bewildered Bofur, "please. Please, Bofur, help _me_."

Bofur looks at him for such a long time that Nori _knows_ he's going to refuse him, and when Bofur lays his hand gently over Nori's mark before pulling him in to an embrace Nori feels the last of his composure break away.

 

 

They don't speak of that moment again. Nori expects Bofur to give him pitying looks and be sympathetic but he's not. He treats Nori like normal and he takes extra loads of patients so Nori doesn't have to remove as many bonds as before, and Nori wonders just what he's done to deserve a friend like Bofur.

It's a month or so after… after the breakup that Thorin turns up at Nori's work. It doesn't surprise Nori. In fact the only thing he's surprised about is that Thorin hadn't turned up earlier. He'd been ignoring all of Thorin's attempts to contact him all this time, so finally seeing Thorin perched on his wheelie chair in his office merely makes him sigh before walking in.

"Finally come to see me, have you?" he asks and Thorin turns to him and smiles. It's irritating to Nori, to see Thorin smile so brightly when Nori himself can barely raise a corner of his mouth and he quickly turns away.

"I thought it was about time."

"I would've thought you'd have understood I don't wish to speak to you," Nori grits out and he whirls around to glare at Thorin, "I am so _angry_ at you, Thorin-"

"Nori."

"-and _nothing_ you say can make anything better. You held it back from me, you never told me. I had to learn the truth like that. It was _humiliating_."

"I didn't know about your brother," Thorin defends himself, and Nori lets out a bitter and humorless laugh.

"I spent _years_ with Dwalin, and all of that was ripped away in one night. You could've told me. You could've warned me."

"I thought maybe you knew!" Thorin defends himself. "You work in the bonding business, of all things! You've probably seen blue marks before or researched them or-"

"I specialized in the removal of _red_ marks, Thorin. You knew that. And I was never in the research department! My job is to remove marks and to check up on those that have had them removed and write down any side effects. _You know this_."

"I-"

"Ah, Nori?"

" _What_!" both Nori and Thorin bellow at the person standing in the doorway, and Nori feels bad when he realises its a slightly shell-shocked Bofur standing there with his arms full of files and wide eyes.

"Sorry," Bofur apologizes sheepishly, "I just needed to remind you Nori about the meeting in the board room in five minutes?"

Nori frowns before swearing and scooping up the files he'd dropped on his desk in his anger. He glares at Thorin as he mutters "coming" to Bofur before he backs out of the door. He lingers for a second, trying to think of something to say, but Thorin just shakes his head at him.

"I'm sorry, Nori," he says, and that sparks up another wave of anger in Nori that makes him just turn around and walk away lest he say something he really regrets.

He doesn't hear from Thorin for a while aside from the occasional text informing him about Fili's latest condition. Nori misses the boy a lot, not use to not seeing him for this length of time, but he flicks Fili his own texts in the meantime. He never gets a reply, not since Fili came back from the war has he ever gotten a reply, but at least the boy knows Nori is thinking of him.

 

 

He's sitting in one of the research rooms on the third floor after hours when Bofur finds him. He loiters by the cubicle entrance before finally walking in, and Nori turns to him with a raised eyebrow.

"Found my hideout, have you?" he asks, and Bofur chuckles as he draws up a chair and perches beside him. He doesn't say anything in reply though and Nori turns back to the flow chart on the wall he's been staring at.

More specifically the blue bubble with the words _unrequited_ written inside it.

"Will you ever tell him?" Bofur quietly asks, and Nori rolls his head back to look at him only to see Bofur pointing at the yellow bubble with the words _doomed_ written on it. "Thorin. Will you ever tell Thorin what it means?"

Nori sighs as he shakes his head. "It's bad enough that young Fili knows," he answers quietly, "but to tell Thorin that his brother had a doomed bond? I couldn't do that to him."

Bofur nods his head slowly and Nori knows he doesn't agree but thankfully Bofur keeps that to himself. They murmur back and forth for a little while longer as they look at the chart together. He realizes that Bofur doesn't actually know many of the bonds, has never cared to find out and Nori decides to teach him then and there.

He talks about the basics. Red for romance, green for platonic, blue for unrequited, black for lost, purple for family, yellow for doomed. They linger on the pink bubble, the word _sensual_ written on it and Nori explains to Bofur that it's essentially a platonic bond but more focused on being physical than having a companion. There's a grey bubble at the top of the chart for _sexual_ , and Nori blushes through the explanation that it's for purely physical relationships. 

"Like for aromantics," Bofur says, and Nori nods at Bofur's proud grin. "Then what’s mine mean?" he asks and Nori frowns when Bofur pulls up the arm of his shirt and shows Nori… shows him a blank arm.

"What…"

"I've never had a mark," Bofur says quietly and Nori can't help but reach out and run his hand down Bofur's forearm and over his wrist, marveling at the smooth and unmarked skin. "I've never known what that meant."

"I've only read about it a few times," Nori answers after a long moment of just touching Bofur, and he feels a blush on his cheeks when he sees Bofur's intense stare. "It means you either have no bond or there's the possibility that your soulmate cannot speak."

"Can't speak?"

"They may be deaf or mute," Nori explains with a small smile, "but it's a fifty fifty possibility of either. You may just be one of those lucky ones to never have a soulmate."

Bofur stares at him for a long moment before he smiles sadly. "Yeah," he mumbles, "lucky."

Nori is shocked when later he realizes that he can't stop thinking about Bofur's soft skin beneath his fingertips and his mark burns on his wrist each time he does. Eventually it dulls, but it's enough of a reminder that what he's thinking of _Bofur_ is not normal.

 

 

Bofur asks him out for coffee a week later and Nori accepts. At first he manages to convince himself it's just a friendship kind of thing, he use to do it all the time with Thorin, but then again he was never attracted to Thorin and every time he thought of Thorin he _didn't_ get a burning sensation crawl up his arm. But Bofur doesn't seem to think of it as anything else than friends as he turns up at Nori's desk with a brilliant grin and asks if he's ready. 

They walk the darkening streets for a while just aimlessly chatting before Bofur asks him where he wants to get coffee. Nori directs him to a lovely coffee shop that he used to frequent with Fili and his uncles when the boy was younger, and he tells Bofur so as they stand in line waiting for their drinks. He's excited when Bofur encourages him by asking about his memories, and Nori shares the times he sat reading to Fili from chaptered books in the corner by the fire, the one wrestling match that Thorin and Frerin once had that broke a table and angered poor Bombur the owner, he even mentions the times he use to come in to sit quietly and just watch the world go by.

Bofur listens patiently and smiles at all the right times. He even laughs at the mentioning of Bombur, and Nori is stunned to realise that Bofur knows this coffee shop well because it's his _brother_ who's the owner, and Nori can't stop himself from grinning widely when Bofur tells his own stories about the shop. They take their drinks after wards from the smiling barista and make their way back down the street, and Nori is surprised when Bofur ushers him up an incredibly _steep_ hill with a grin.

"I didn't realise that we were _exercising_ ," Nori grumbles the whole way up, and Bofur just takes his cup from him and races ahead to wait for him.

The top is a peaceful and quiet patch of grass though, and Nori smiles at the single oak tree in the middle of the area with a large wooden bench with _In Memory of the Baggins'_ written on it. He makes a note to look up who they are later, but doesn't worry too much now as he sits beside Bofur and tilts his head back to look up through the leaves at the dark sky.

They don't really talk much, but the silence is incredibly welcoming and Nori shuffles a little closer to Bofur to share in his warmth. Bofur smiles brightly at him, and Nori feels his heart skip when Bofur's arm drops around his shoulders. 

When he gets home he realizes that he hadn't thought of Dwalin _once_.

It's not really a romance, but it's not just friendship. Multiple times Bofur asks him out for coffee or dinner and Nori never declines. He tentatively starts to reply to Thorin's texts and even though he doesn't think he's ready to see him face to face just yet, it's _something_. The proud look Bofur gives him is enough of a motive anyway.

 

 

Somehow, Bofur makes Nori's life that little brighter. He throws himself into his work with a vengeance. He begins to focus less on only red marks and he branches out into the removal of various other colours, and even takes up a position in the Queries and Help department to assist those with unusual markings. He finds it surprisingly pleasant, and Bofur seems so proud of him when Nori tells him of his plans.

So he works everyday and slowly a smiles appears on his face more often. Bofur is often at his side, and Nori does notice that over the next couple of months he doesn't receive a single patient with a blue mark. He know Bofur must be deflecting them, and he can't find it in him to be mad.

His friendship with Thorin slowly starts to heal as well. Nori still holds some resentment, but he's getting over it with each day and they meet up for coffee at least once a week.

But his work is his favourite. It's not always happy, like the day he's in the Removal Clinic and a worried woman comes rushing in for her appointment. Nori ushers her into one of the rooms with a strange look at Bofur, and when he asks what's wrong she holds out her arm.

There's red words written up her arm, but there's also red words wrapped around her wrist, and Nori touches them gently before looking at her. "What's wrong?" he asks, "do you understand what this means?"

"I know what it means," she sobs, and Nori squeezes her wrist as he waits for her to finish talking, "but… I found the first one and he, he only has one soul-mark. One. This isn't…"

"It's not meant to be polyamorous," Nori finishes for her, and she gives a broken nod in agreement. 

"I can't be in love with two people," she says, "I can't choose."

Nori bites his lip at what she's saying, and he forces a smile as he tells her he will help. But he leaves the room and goes to find Thranduil. Nori can't do it, not personally. He can't think about the other person out there somewhere who is the woman's other soulmate, who will wake up and look at their wrist and no longer see a red mark, but a brown one. A _severed_ one. 

It hurts even more when two days later a distraught man sprints into the Queries and Help department beginning to know what a brown mark means, and Nori struggles to tell him as he fights back guilt. 

But not everything is bad. Nori gets excited when a young couple come in with two red marks each, and he explains to them the idea of polyamorous relationships. They leave the building thrilled to pieces at the idea of sharing their love with another, and Nori exchanges a delighted smile with Bofur.

There's even two couples that come in together, and Nori has to recruit Bofur to help when he realizes that guy one and girl one are soulmates, as are guy two and girl two, but guy two and girl one are platonic soulmates and guy one and girl two are in love. It's all very complicated at first, but when all four declare they just want their red marks removed so the platonic bond can stay and the other two can be in love with no other commitments, Nori just sets to work with a roll of his eyes.

It's all the same kind of work. He explains pink bonds, grey bonds, brown bonds, and even what no bond means. He removes red bonds from those that are abused by their summates, blue bonds of those that can't handle it anymore, even black bonds of those that just don't want to have the reminder anymore. He's crushed when a lady comes in with a yellow mark and demands it be taken off, she doesn't want to die when she hears her soulmates words, but Nori has to explain that while he can remove the bond… the scenario will still continue. After all, sometimes people can't escape their fate.

But it's the end of every day everything jut seems perfect when Nori gets back to his desk, pleasantly bone-weary, and Bofur is always waiting there with a grin on his face and another 'date' planned out.

 

 

Although, it's always when things are slowly coming right again that everything is blown out of the water once more. It's on a Friday night that Bofur is supposed to be picking Nori up for an evening walk to take photos of the sunset, and Nori loves that Bofur's past time is _photography_ , that it all happens.

There's a knock on the door and Nori yells out to come in. He's too busy pulling on his shirt to answer the door but he hears it creak open and he grins as he hurries out to go greet Bofur. 

Except it's not Bofur standing in his living room, its _Dwalin_ and Nori feels himself stumble to a halt and the smile fall from his face.

"Nori," Dwalin croaks out, and Nori shakes his head because no. No this can't be happen. Not _now_. Not when everything is almost back on track.

"What are you doing here?" he whispers into the quiet and he can't bring himself to look at Dwalin.

"I… I came to see you."

"Why?" Nori demands as he feels a surge of anger at the words and he looks up to glare at Dwalin, "why now? You've had _months_ to come see me. Months and months and I haven't heard anything from you! Why now?"

"We're getting married," Dwalin interrupts, and Nori feels the words like a blow to his stomach. "I… I proposed. I've left the military, we're moving from the city to start a family and… Nori-"

"You…" Nori starts to say but he can't find words as he staggers back to drop into one of his armchairs and cover his face. This… this can't be. Dwalin marrying Ori and he understands because they're soulmates but Dwalin…

He's left the military for Ori. Wants to start a family with Ori.

"Everything I ever wanted for us," Nori manages to croak out, "you're doing with my _brother_."

Dwalin looks heartbroken when Nori looks up, and a part of Nori understands but the rest wants him to scream that Dwalin has _no bloody right_. But he doesn't say anything more as Dwalin takes a few steps towards him before sinking to his knees in front of Nori.

"I'm sorry," Dwalin murmurs, "I… Ori, he's special. He's wonderful and perfect and I'm _so so sorry_."

Nori feels his break shatter that little bit more at the sincerity in Dwalin's voice and eyes. Because he does mean it, Nori knows he does, and he glances down at Dwalin's wrist to see the words that he'd once thought were his own are still bright and vibrant like so many healthy romantic bonds are. 

He feels sick. "Why are you here then," he asks quietly, "what do you want from me?"

Dwalin doesn't answer and when Nori looks up at him it's to see Dwalin with his mouth open and lost for words. It makes sense for some reason, just suddenly looking at Dwalin's face and seeing the torment there, and Nori smiles sadly as he reaches out to cup Dwalin's cheek softly.

"Did you know at first I was convinced we were complete soulmates," he starts softly, "that one day I was going to be your reason to wake up, that I was going to be the someone who'd laugh at all your jokes and your dumb crooked smile. That I was going to be the person that would make you forget the entire world around you and you'd want nothing else to be wrapped in my arms. That you would wish to always have my hands on your skin and my breath on your face and that every time I would kiss you you'd feel like you couldn't breathe."

"Nori-"

"For a _long time_ , I thought I was going to be the person for you," he finishes as if Dwalin hadn't even spoken and he smiles as he reaches up to brush his thumb across Dwalin's cheekbone, "but I'm not. I can't ever be that person."

"I didn't mean for this to happen," Dwalin says and Nori hears how choked up he sounds and he sees the water building in Dwalin's eyes, and god it hurts him to see that Dwalin hasn't let Nori go either.

"You have to let me go, Dwalin," Nori breathes into the still air between them even though his arm burns and his heart tightens at the words, "because if you don't, then I can't walk away from you. I can't walk away knowing that some part of you still loves me, and I can't hurt Ori. Not my brother."

Dwalin looks even more of a broken man than Nori thought, and Nori wonders just how selfish he's been. Of course Dwalin would be struggling with this. Nori is facing the idea that his _soulmate_ will never love him equally, but Dwalin has to face the fact that his soulmate is the brother of the man he's spent half of his life loving.

Because Dwalin did love Nori, and Nori's smile shakes when Dwalin closes his eyes and a lone tear hits Nori's thumb.

"I'm sorry," Dwalin mumbles brokenly. 

Nori can't stop from leaning forward and placing a very gentle kiss on Dwalin's lips then his forehead as he murmurs "I know" under his breath, and they stay like for a very long time before suddenly Dwalin pulls away.

He doesn't say anything as he leaves, merely pauses by the door and drops a piece of paper on the table before he walks out. He doesn't look back, he doesn't make a noise, and Nori knows it's Dwalin's way of _letting go_.

Nori shakily gets to his feet after a few moments and makes his way to the piece of paper, and he slowly sinks to his knees with the paper clenched in his hand when he reads the words written on the _wedding invitation_.

Everything becomes a blur after that. He vaguely remembers not waiting for Bofur to turn up after all and he leaves the house completely flustered. He remembers crashing into a bar and ordering shot after shot, drink after drink, and he remembers being coaxed onto the dance floor and being ground up against. He remembers the feeling of a scratchy beard on his neck and the deep guttural growls as someone pushes him up against a wall. Then there's the sound of fighting and his name being called but he doesn't remember anything specific except the want to have a warm body up against his and to just _forget Dwalin Durin ever fucking existed_.

 

 

When he wakes the next morning its to a pounding headache, a rolling stomach, and a very unimpressed Thorin who's holding a bucket that Nori dry retches into for a long time.

"Bout time," Thorin mutters as he pushes Nori's hair back from his face incase the dry retching isn't _dry_ , and Nori moves his head back slightly to butt into Thorin's hand and searches for comfort. "I was starting to get worried, I've never seen you drink like this before."

"Dwalin came over last night," Nori mumbles pathetically into the bowl, and he feels Thorin's hand still in it's stroking briefly before he continues, "wanted to forget."

"You could've waited for Bofur to turn up first. He's been worried sick. If I hadn't gotten the call for him then who knows where you would've been. We ended up pulling some big bastard off of you when we found you in Club Pizzazz."

"Felt nice."

"Felt more like rape," Thorin hisses, and Nori groans as he rolls away to flop his head back under a pillow only for Thorin to rip it off and glare down at him. "You were completely out of it," Thorin thunders on and Nori covers his ears in protest, "and that guy was more than content to bend you over and fuck your bad choices out of you."

"Thorin, there's no need-"

"There is every need!" Thorin practically bellows, and Nori realizes he can't get away from the noises as he reluctantly shuffles up the bed to sit despite his spinning head. "You could've called me! You could've called Bofur! You could've called _anyone_ rather than internalize your bullshit and take it out on yourself. What the hell would we have done if you were lying in some bloody club somewhere with-"

"Thorin, stop!" Nori cuts him off, and he turns his stinging and watery eyes to glare at Thorin, "I made a mistake, I'm sorry! I didn't think that-"

"You didn't _think_ ," Thorin snaps before suddenly he steps forward and surprises Nori by dragging him into a hug. "For gods sake, you worried me so much."

"I just wanted to forget him," Nori whispers into Thorin's shoulder as he clings back to Thorin. "They're getting married, and I needed to _forget_."

Thorin stays hugging him tightly for a while longer before he pulls away. "I'm sorry, Nori," he says softly, "I'm so sorry."

"My _soulmate_ is marrying my _brother_ ," Nori whimpers and he covers his face. "I wouldn't wish unhappiness on either of them, but it's just so _hard_."

Thorin mutters an "I know" before he hugs Nori again, and Nori willingly goes into his embrace and buries his head in Thorin's chest. There's a gentle silence between them for a long time, only broken occasionally by Nori being unable to hold back a sob, and Thorin holds him the whole time.

"Whatever happened to your soulmate?" Nori eventually asks to break up the silence when he sees the red mark on Thorin's forearm.

"I don't know," Thorin answers, and Nori raises an eyebrow as he pulls away to look at Thorin. "I met him in the airport right after Fili's soulmate passed. I didn't stay long enough to find out who he is."

"You chose-"

"Fili over my own soulmate," Thorin finishes for him, and his smile is a little emptier than Nori is use to. "I had to. Fili needed me, and maybe if it's meant to be then I will meet my soulmate again."

Nori sits speechless as he stares at the incredibly _selfless_ man across from him. Well, selfless to some and selfish to others, but either way he sits in awe because this man had given up his shot at happiness to ensure that his nephew would be okay.

Maybe sending Tauriel his way was the only way Thorin could tell him about an unrequited bond. A man like him wouldn't be an asshole on purpose.

"Listen, Nori," Thorin starts up once more and Nori turns to look at him. "One day you'll throw out that sweater of his that I know is still in your closet, take down the pictures of you both from the wall, and you'll _move on_. That could be in a week, a month, a year. It doesn't matter. What matters though is that you _reach_ that day," he pauses to smile at Nori, "and with Bofur lingering in the sidelines? I don't think that day is very far away."

"He has a soulmate."

"His arm is blank, Nori," Thorin sighs and shakes his head, "don't stop yourself from being happy. You deserve it as much as everyone else."

Nori doesn't have much to say after that, and neither does Thorin who hugs him once more before ushering him back into bed and tucking him in. Nori feels like a child, but he's cozy and peaceful and he eventually drifts off to sleep.

 

 

Work in a couple of day’s time is insufferable. He hasn't had the guts yet to talk to Bofur after the stunt he pulled, and he's been ignoring all texts and phone calls from the other man. He just doesn't know what to say to him.

Luckily he spends most of the day down in the Bonding Removal Clinic and he only sees Bofur once when he's calling in another patient. Bofur calls out to him, but Nori quickly ushers his patient into his room and runs away from Bofur. 

But he can't seem to avoid Bofur for long though, as at the end of the day when he heads back to his desk to collect his things he sees Bofur leaning against the wall looking exceptionally tired.

"Nori," he calls, and Nori freezes up. He decides then and there though that he can't keep running away, and he squares his shoulders as he walks towards Bofur.

"Hello Bof-" he's cut off before he can't finish though by Bofur pulling him into a tight hug. His files drop to the ground and scatter everywhere, but Nori can't bring himself to care as he stands still in Bofur's arms and blinks in shock.

"God, Nori," Bofur murmurs in his ear, " _god_ I've been so worried about you. You should never scare me like that. I don't think I can take it."

Nori frowns as he pulls away and stares at Bofur in surprise. "Don't think you can take it?" he asks, "Bofur, what… what do you mean?"

Bofur smiles at him and reaches up to cup Nori's cheeks gently, something that makes Nori flinch but Bofur continues anyway and Nori ends up leaning into the soft feeling of Bofur's warm hands on his cheeks. It's nice, and Nori closes his eyes at the gentleness of the touch.

"I care about you, Nori," Bofur says quietly, "as more than a friend. You know this. I think that I lov-"

Nori's eyes snap open and he rips out of Bofur's grip with wide eyes. "You're crazy, Bofur!" he exclaims, shaking his head as he moves further away only for Bofur to follow him and crowd him up against Nori's desk. "What about your soul-"

"My soulmate?" Bofur interrupts with a raised eyebrow as he leans forward into Nori's space, "what soulmate? I have no soulmate. My arm has been bare for as many years as I can remember, Nori. There is no soulmate waiting for me."

"You know what they say though, Bofur," Nori disagrees as he shakes his head and gestures at Bofur's sleeved arm, "just because your arm is blank it doesn't mean there's not someone out there. They could be mute or deaf and unable to speak, or-"

"Or they could be you," Bofur murmurs with such a soft smile that Nori feels like crying out because this just _isn’t fair_. "Nori, please."

"No!" Nori shouts, "no, Bofur! I can't... We can't do this."

Bofur stares at him for a long moment before he sighs and starts to roll up his left shirtsleeve. "Fine," he says, "fine, I guess we're just gonna have to do this the hard way."

Nori watches as Bofur reaches out and fishes around on the desk for something, and he frowns when he sees him pick up a vivid marker. Bofur doesn't look at him though as he puts the lid between his teeth and begins to write on his arm. His face is contorted in concentration, and Nori finds that he loves that look on Bofur's otherwise normally happy face. He looks serious and wonderful, and Nori feels a surge of shame at the feeling. 

Bofur is meant for another. Someone out there who can't speak has Bofur's writing and words written over their arm, and Nori can't take that away from them. It's not fair. 

He doesn't want anyone to feel the pain he's had to feel. 

Bofur let's out a satisfactory noise as he pulls the marker away and drops it on the desk. As he pulls the lid out of his mouth he turns his left arm to face Nori, and Nori's eyes widen at what he sees. 

"‘ _Are you new here, or just completely stupid_?'" he reads out, eyes following the bright red words that are a terrible copy of his own writing, but near enough that he can recognize it. 

"The first words you ever spoke to me," Bofur says into the silence between them, "I remember them very clearly, Nori."

"Not the nicest of words," Nori manages to choke out through the lump in his throat in an attempt to make light of the moment. But there's already tears pricking at the corner of his eyes and he can feel how hard it is to swallow all of a sudden. 

"But they mean something," Bofur smiles as he steps closer, "they mean more than a lifetime of silence waiting for me."

"A lifetime with your soulmate," Nori points out reluctantly, "Bofur, please, don't be so selfish-"

"I want to give you the same happiness you give me," Bofur cuts him off, "and if that means I'm being selfish then so be it. I want _you_ , Nori. Only _you_."

Nori can't stop the soft sob that tears itself from him, and before he can blink Bofur's arms are around him and he's being pulled into his chest and surrounded but his warmth. He tries to fight it, but he has no energy and he collapses reluctantly against Bofur.

"I can't do this to someone else," Nori whispers, "I can't make them feel the same pain that I do."

"You won't," Bofur reassures him as he presses soft kisses to Nori's hairline, "I promise, you won't."

It's a promise that Nori knows Bofur can't really make, but for once he doesn't care as he stands limp in Bofur's embrace and feels an odd feeling of wetness press against his arms. 

It's the still wet vivid, he realizes as he glances down to see Bofur's arm pressed against his own. Something in him aches so _so badly_ when he sees that Bofur's red vivid has smeared over Nori's own soul-mark, and he can't read the words very well anymore.

"I can't give you everything," he admits to Bofur as he pulls away enough to glance up at him, "some part of me will always love Dwalin." It crushes him to think about his brother's partner... His old best friend, and he has to blink away tears at the thought. 

A hand brushes his cheek gently, and Nori glances up to see Bofur smiling ever so sweetly at him. "I know," Bofur says quietly and he brushes loose hairs from Nori's face before leaning down to place a soft kiss under Nori's eye. "I know."

Nori can't stop himself then from swarming forward and wrapping himself in Bofur's embrace. Tears flow freely and sobs rip from his throat as he clings as tightly as he can to Bofur.

Bofur just holds him back just as tightly, his kisses in Nori's hair and his arms right around Nori's back, and Nori hopes that Bofur will _never_ let him go.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Nori's story, and Bofur's! See, happy ending for everyone! Next up, Thorin's story. His one incorporates all of them so far and adds a bit more as well.
> 
> So, a _lot_ more than I expected there to be, and the next chapter is a lot longer as well. They just gradually grew in size.
> 
> There were a lot of mentions about other kinda of bonds, and while they're not really involved to much in the story I'll still add them to the list. So!
> 
> An update on the marks,
> 
> Green - Platonic  
> Red - Romantic  
> Black - Ended because of death  
> Purple - Family  
> Blue - Unrequited  
> Yellow - Soulmates words are the last ones you ever hear  
>  **Pink - Sensual only**  
>  **Grey - Sexual only**  
>  **Brown - Severed**  
>  **None - No bond, or possibly bonded to a person with a vocal disability**
> 
> There's also the potential of polyamorous bonds, having a romantic bond with one person and a platonic bond with another, and just a general mix up! Hell, there could be a polyamorous relationship where two people have a sexual and a sensual bond, but third could have only two sensual bonds. Your imagination is your limit!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Stay tune for next time!
> 
> [my tumblr](http://resacon1990.tumblr.com/)


	5. Thorin (Thorin/Bilbo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter guys, I think I might just cry. 
> 
> This is the _longest_ chapter by far at over 10k words. I think I swallowed my own tongue when I saw how much I'd written.
> 
> But this is it. This is the sum up, the conclusion, the end of all ends. We start at the start and we finish with all the happy endings I promised!
> 
> Please, enjoy :)

Thorin's story has never really been about finding his soulmate. He's always been confused when someone asks him when he thinks he'll meet his, and he's never participated when others daydream over the moment they meet their soulmate. Even his own siblings who sometimes sit in Thorin's room in the evenings gossiping about their marks while Thorin tries to suffocate himself with his pillow.

It's just never been important to him.

It's never helped that his words are so common. _I'm sorry_ is written around his wrist in large letters, and by the time he's seven years old he's heard those words so many times that every time someone says them? He just never registers.

So Thorin isn't like everyone else who's focused on finding their soulmate. It always seems to happen around him though, and he does have a fascination with them for a long time before he comes to the stunning realisation that soulmates _aren't_ always as wonderful as they're made out to be. Then Thorin realizes that maybe he isn't ready for a soulmate, maybe not ever, so he focuses on living his life _happily_ , and if a soulmate comes along… then so be it.

 

 

Everything starts the day Nori approaches Dwalin and Thorin sees the look on his face turn into absolute wonder as the markings on his wrist unravel to slide up his arm, but the ones on Dwalin's don't.

He's only nine years old and he doesn't understand what it means. He looks at his own red markings, the sentence short enough to read on his small wrist, and he wonders what the blue of Nori's means. It's not uncommon, he thinks, to have different colored markings. Frerin has yellow, Oin has green, and even his cousins Dain and Balin have bright purple ones that have bonded them together. It's not odd, and Thorin goes home that day to ask his mother just what the blue words mean.

"Oh, Thorin," she says sadly as she lifts him up to sit on the bench, "that poor boy."

"What does it mean?" he asks again with a bit more determination, and his mother opens her mouth only for Dis and Frerin to come screaming into the room with Frerin's fist tangled in Dis's hair and Dis twisting Frerin's hand back.

Instantly his mother is rushing to separate his siblings, and she glances over her shoulder briefly at him. "I'll tell you when you're older," she rushes to say as she yanks her other children apart, "when you can understand easier. Just remember though, that little boy will need a very good friend some day, Thorin. There is a lot of heartbreak coming his way."

Thorin doesn't understand what that all means, but he doesn't argue as he hops down to tuck his brother under his arm and cart him off into the living room. Maybe some games will distract the both of them.

He takes his mother's advice though and the next day he approaches Nori, after shoving a ball of playdo in Dwalin's mouth to stop his protests, and smiles down at the shy little boy. "I like that you were the one to say you were sorry first," he says with a bright smile, "especially since Dwalin is such a _bonehead_. Would you… would you like to be friends?"

Nori stares at him strangely for a long moment before his face splits into a grin and he readily accepts. Thorin thinks it's wonderful, and he can't wait to see Dwalin's face when he brings over his new friend.

The friendship between Nori and Dwalin is incredibly rocky though, and Thorin finds himself as the moderator between the two. Frerin, of course, thinks its the most hilarious thing in the world watching Thorin try to calm his two friends, and Frerin ends up spending most of his preteen years with his head down the toilet as Thorin tries to drown his dumb ass brother.

He doesn't really understand it all. Nori swings from being madly in love with Dwalin and then hates him for weeks afterwards, and Dwalin seems to be in this constant state of anger as well as confusion. Yet, somehow, they're still friends? He just doesn't understand it so Thorin brings it up to his parents. The both of them exchange looks before Thorin's father gestures for Thorin to sit.

"Sometimes soulmates don't always work out," his father says quietly, and Thorin sits at his feet and waits for his father to continue, "and sometimes the relationships don't always work out. Soulmates have strong feelings towards one another but sometimes those strong feelings can swing from different pendulums."

"But the marks-"

"The marks only decide what kind of relationship you will have with the person," his father interrupts, "romantic, platonic, familial. But you still have to work for your relationship to work out, and there's every possibility that a bond will fall apart." Thorin's father places a hand on Thorin's head and smiles at him. "Sometimes people just don't belong with each other, Thorin."

It still makes little sense why Nori and Dwalin act the way they do, but Thorin puts it aside to confront Nori about Dwalin being his soulmate. Nori is mortified that Thorin has noticed that Dwalin seems to not share the bond with Nori. Thorin just tries to convince Nori that the blue mark just isn't right… but he doesn't know what it means.

They end up just agreeing it's a flaw in the system, and Thorin stops asking his mother what it means. She probably won't ever tell him, and when he asks his father what the blue mark means, he gets the same answer but in a rougher way.

Despite it all, Thorin still has his suspicions about what the blue mark means, especially when he reads one of Dis's romantic books with one of those terrible love triangles in. It's even Dis who brings up the idea of " _unrequited love_ ", and Thorin hovers on the words for a whole year before he shakes it all off.

Because despite Dwalin's soul mark clearly not matching up to Nori's, the two still end up together. It feels wrong to Thorin, completely off, but he doesn't want to bring attention to it. He knows Nori can see his face turn up, but Nori just seems to want to be happy and Thorin can't fault him for that.

He gets distracted very quickly though when Dis, only two years younger than him at _seventeen_ , comes home one day holding the hand of a boy that had been in Thorin's year at high school and promptly tells everyone _she's fucking pregnant_.

The only thing that stops Thorin and Frerin from literally _killing_ the guy is the way Dis glows when she holds out her arm and everyone sees the bright red words high on her arm.

 

 

Thorin puts off leaving for the city for a whole year when he realizes that Dis is only a few months away from giving birth. Surprisingly, Dwalin and Nori decide to stay with him, and the two of them help Thorin and Frerin put Vili through the gauntlet. Quite frankly, they're awful to him, but Vili seems determined to earn their approval and eventually Thorin actually respects the man. Frerin still hisses about "cradle robbing" over dinner, but their father just smacks him on the back of the head with a spoon and Dis giggles into her drink while Thorin exchanges smiles with Vili.

After all, he does know Vili is a good man. He did spend the entirety of high school with him, although he does grill Vili about his intentions towards Dis.

Eventually little Fili is born, and as soon as Thorin lays eyes on him he falls in love. He holds his nephew close and strokes the little red line along Fili's wrist, and when he looks up at Dis and Vili he can't help but give them a watery smile filled with complete joy.

Vili sits down between Thorin and Frerin later that night when Dis is long asleep, and both of the Uncles lean over to look down at little Fili's face.

"These are your uncles," Vili starts to say into the quiet of the hospital room, "and they're going to protect you and love you no matter what. If anything ever happens to Mummy and I, you don't have to worry. Uncle Frerin will try to scare everyone away that will try to hurt you, and Uncle Thorin will be the one who actually does it."

Frerin lets out a yell of protest and hits Vili's arm gently, only for Thorin and Vili to laugh at him. He grumbles something under his breath, but soon he's laughing with them and Thorin thinks that it's wonderful.

A few months later Thorin sits in the front pew of the church bouncing a little Fili on his knee as his sister stands at the front with her hands in Vili's, reciting their vows, while Frerin glares at him in jealousy from where he stands as a groomsman. His mother is patting his father's back as he sobs into a handkerchief over "his little girl growing up". It's ridiculous but Thorin couldn't be happier.

Even though later he catches Nori rubbing his wrist with a pained look on his face, and Thorin finds his chest hurts at the sight.

The first year of Fili's life is eventful, and Thorin spends it alternating between fighting with Frerin over the title of the best uncle and arranging his departure to the city with Nori and Dwalin. Of course, Dwalin pops the news that he's off with the army for the next five years and Thorin holds Nori as he bursts into tears that night when he turns up on Thorin's doorstep.

"I don't understand," he says a few days later when Dwalin has joined him and Frerin in baby-sitting duty, "why the army? Why five years?"

"They're setting up a new camp overseas, and they need personnel," Dwalin explains quietly, "it's only for five years and I'll be able to come back a few times. It's not that long."

"What about Nori?" Thorin mutters, and he narrows his eyes at his friend, "I can't let you hurt him."

"He won't accept a break up," Dwalin sighs. "Trust me, I've tried to break up with him. It'll just make it easier and then we can spend the entire time _not_ constantly worrying about each other… but we're soulmates, you know? You can't just break up with each other and I can't take him with me."

The fact that Dwalin thinks he _could_ break up with Nori sets off an alarm in Thorin's head, and he purses his lips as he looks at his friend. Dwalin's hands are wound into fists and his face is contorted, and Thorin has no doubts that he really does love Nori… but something is not right.

"But why the army?" he asks quietly, and Dwalin smiles at him.

"It just seems to be the thing to do?" he replies with a shake of the head, "my father was in the army, his father was. It's like a family tradition." He inclines his head to where Frerin is sitting by the fire blowing raspberries into Fili's stomach. "Frerin is going into the army when he leaves high school at the end of the year, and maybe Fili will do the same when he's older. It's a family thing."

"Over my dead body," Thorin mutters, "I can't control Frerin but Fili doesn't belong in the army."

Dwalin laughs and pats his arm. "Family tradition, remember. You could come with me?"

Thorin thinks about it briefly. He'd originally planned to join the army when he was considering future jobs, but then Frerin had mentioned he had wanted to and he'd seen his mothers face at the idea _both_ of her sons were going into the army. He couldn't do that to her. Not after what had happened to Dwalin's father.

"Thanks," he laughs, "but I have a future publishing company to join."

Dwalin just smiles back and Thorin glances one more down at the red words around Dwalin's wrist, the ones that _should_ be Nori's, but clearly aren't. It makes his chest pang and he ends up moving over to the fire to argue with Frerin over who gets to hold Fili.

 

 

The move to the city isn't that big of a deal. Thorin and Nori say goodbye to Dwalin at the airport, pile up a car between them, then say farewell to their families. Vili makes promises to come see them as soon as they can, and Frerin makes gagging faces behind his mother when she cuddles Thorin close for a decent amount of time. Thorin promptly slaps his brother upside the head before dragging him and his sister into a tight hug.

"See you soon, yeah?" Dis asks, and Thorin grins as he ruffles her hair and kisses her forehead. Frerin makes another gagging noise, but Thorin pulls him into a headlock and rubs his knuckles over Frerin's head to shut him up.

It's unnerving to leave his family behind, but he puts on a brave face and makes the two-hour drive with Nori panicking beside him.

Their shared flat is nothing spectacular. It's comfortable though and they quickly make it home. Thorin hangs pictures of his family beside Nori’s; all of their bright faces smiling down at them and Nori contemplates putting up trashy crate paper to make it look even more sentimental. Thorin pushes him over the couch and laughs at Nori's squawk before settling down to job hunt.

He somehow manages to land an interview at one of the newest publishing firms in town, and he meets the boss straight away. Gandalf Grey is a strange old man, and Thorin thinks that he's actually quite irritating to be around. He expects to be tossed out the door without even a by your leave, but Gandalf surprisingly seems to like him and Thorin finds himself being hired on the spot. It's not a glamorous job, in fact he's stuck down in the editing department dealing with agitated authors and bitchy agents, but it's a job nonetheless.

Nori begins to work odd jobs, not staying on one for very long. Thorin worries about him, but he decides to not say anything lest Nori get more agitated. Thorin knows that he's missing the presence of his soulmate, and a part of him begins to get angry at Dwalin for leaving. 

He sees his family regularly. Frerin comes to see him every other weekend before he joins the military where the visits become less frequent, and even Dis and Vili turn up with Fili in tow. Thorin delights in showing them the city and the day his mother and father turn up is one of the best that Thorin has. His parents dote on him and Nori. They tidy up the flat and even buy them new furniture to replace their couch that'd been broken from one too many drunken wrestling matches.

It's when he's twenty three, three years after moving to the city, that a two-year old Fili comes bursting through the front of the door screaming his name, and Thorin panics before Fili throws himself into his uncles arms and declares he's _going to have a brother_!

A very frazzled Dis rushes in behind him; Thorin hasn't seen her months and the first thing he notices is her swollen stomach and he bursts out laughing. "Twenty one with two sons?" he asks her, and she flips him off before starting to scold Fili for rushing away like that. Thorin is just as ecstatic as his nephew though, and as soon as Vili comes through the door Thorin shakes his hand and gives him a brilliant grin.

"Maybe this one will like Frerin more," Thorin jokes, and Vili tips his head back and laughs before making his way into the kitchen to say hello to Nori. 

Thorin puts in an annual leave form that Gandalf himself comes down to approve personally. He mentions a promotion when Thorin gets back, and Thorin trips over his tongue and hurriedly thanks his boss as Gandalf leaves with a twinkle in his eye.

He packs his bags and heads home. Vili spends most of his time rushing around after Dis and responding to all her crazy requests, and Thorin admires him as he takes Fili off of him whenever Dis starts squawking from one of the other rooms. It's a bit tiring to look after an energetic two-year old, but it's worth it when Frerin comes home from his latest tour to see Fili screaming that Thorin is his favourite uncle _ever_.

Thorin wishes he had a camera for that exact moment because Frerin looked _gutted_. Their father thinks it's hilarious too, and he continues to rib Frerin about it for the next week.

Very soon though they're gathered in a hospital room once again, and little Kili is being passed around the room. Thorin watches Vili and Dis sit together on the bed with Fili pressed between them peering down at the bundle of Kili perched on his lap, and he shares a smile with his mother.

"They're wonderful together," she says to him later when they're at home and the last two up. He's sitting beside her on the couch and her head is leaning on his shoulder.

"They really are soulmates," he agrees, and he glances down at his wrist. Of course he has his own red mark there, but he's never paid much attention to it. He's seen everybody else have soulmates, happy or sad, romantic or platonic, requited and possibly unrequited. He's never cared for the idea of it that much, and he's surprised when his mother's fingertips touch his wrist gently.

"You know," she says kindly, "you'll find your own soulmate one day, Thorin. Just as Frerin will, just as Dis has."

"Maybe. Maybe they're out there and maybe they're not," Thorin murmurs, and he smiles down at his mother, "but I'm okay with whatever happens. I have my family. I have a mother and father, three ridiculous siblings, two wonderful nephews and too many cousins to count." He presses a kiss to his mother’s forehead. "I'm happy, Mum. I really am."

But of course, happiness doesn't really last forever does it? 

It's the day that Dis and Kili are supposed to be leaving hospital. Thorin and Frerin keep Fili entertained at home while their parents bundle Vili into the car to go pick them up. Everyone is buzzing with excitement with Dis and Kili coming home, and Thorin had just that morning watched Vili put the finishing touches on the new baby's room.

"Are you sure it's not too much?" he asks Vili as he helps him lift the large canvas onto the wall. Vili shoots him a look before he glances at the canvas himself.

"I thought Kili would like it," Vili says as they finish hanging it before stepping back to look at the large canvas. It's a collage of photos, and Thorin loves it despite its immense size. There's pictures of his parents, of Fili, Dis and Vili's wedding, family photos, Christmas time, and even that one unforgettable Easter where Vili had ended up covered in chocolate and chasing a screaming Fili through the house. Thorin laughs as he looks at that picture, and he turns to a glowing Vili.

"You know," he starts to say into the quiet, "I was worried about you two at the beginning. You were my age and Dis was two years younger and she was _pregnant_ , and at first I thought you might think it was all too much and leave. But then you're her _soulmate_ , and you really do love her." He pauses briefly to glance once more at the canvas before looking back at the patient Vili. "You make an excellent father, Vili. And you've become a brother to Frerin and myself. You deserve this, just for making our Dis happy, you deserve it."

Vili looks like he's going to cry, and Thorin smiles tentatively at him as Vili reaches out to punch his arm gently.

"Speak for yourself," he says to Thorin, and Vili's grin makes Thorin laugh. 

They give each other a brief hug before shuffling out of the room with one last look at the canvas. Instantly Thorin's mother is there and she's shoving Vili towards the front door and blowing Thorin a kiss over her shoulder. "Look after yourselves," she says, "be back soon!"

It's the last time Thorin sees them.

 

 

The moment that Thorin walks in on his sister sitting in the hallway, her head in her hands and _black_ words written up her arm, is when his fascination in soulmates goes completely away. All thoughts of Nori's blue mark and Dwalin's not-matching red mark, of Dis and Vili romance, of Frerin's yellow mark, and even the purple and green marks of his friends and family… all of those thoughts disappear completely because Thorin realizes in the moment he sees his sister suffering from the loss of her _soulmate_ that maybe having a soulmate connection just _isn't worth it_.

Life after the car crash? It's torture. Thorin has to go back to work only a week after it happens, and thankfully Frerin stays behind to help Dis. They have to juggle a newborn, Dis's grief, and Fili's constant question of "when is Daddy coming home?", and Thorin finds himself spending more time screaming internally than actually functioning. All he can see is his mother's face before she left the house, Vili's last grin at the thought of collecting his wife and second son, and all he can hear is the sorrowful sound of the police standing at the door informing them of that _god awful crash_.

Thankfully Gandalf is mortified that Thorin is back at work so soon, and he surprisingly gives Thorin a promotion before promptly tell him to take six months off to go home and "be with your family, for goodness sake!"

At first time drags by. The funerals are awful, and Thorin somehow manages to gather Dis, Frerin, and his two nephews all into one great big hug. Nori and Dwalin are there, the latter having managed to make enough excuses to get there for the day, and Thorin is ashamed to think that he spent the evening of his parent's and brother-in-law's funeral getting smashed off his ass and lying catatonic in Dwalin's old bedroom.

But after the funerals, after the six months that Thorin spends feeling like he's screwing up than actually helping, everything has to start back up again. Thorin heads home to the city and Frerin has to go back to work himself. Dis looks so lost when they both tell her, and she's holding her newborn son in her arms and her two-year old is clinging to her leg… and Thorin just breaks.

He bundles them up and drives them back to the city. It's a tight squeeze at first, but eventually Nori decides to get his own place. Thorin feels guilty but Nori assures him it's time for him to start living properly, and anyway Dwalin will be home permanently in two years so Nori won't be alone for long. Thorin is thankful, and they manage to spread out amongst the flat comfortably while Thorin plans to eventually move to the suburbs. 

But otherwise? Life goes on. Dis raises Kili and Fili with Thorin's help, and often Frerin comes home to do so. When they move to the suburbs they get a five-bedroom house and the two boys scribble all over one of the doors to let everyone know that the room is specifically for Frerin. Frerin is stoked the next time he comes home, and once more the game of "who's the better Uncle" is resurrected. 

Fili grows into a wonderful young man, and Thorin absolutely dotes on him. Kili is a complete troublemaker, but Fili is kind and patient and Thorin often sits in the lounge late at night talking to him. He gets nervous though when Fili starts to ask questions about his red mark, confused when he sees his mother's is black and Frerin's is yellow, so of course he comes to Thorin for answers. Thorin explains about the red mark meaning a romantic bond, but otherwise he has not much to say. His thoughts on soulmates are cynical at best, and Fili asks him if he's a skeptic. It's the easiest answer to give, so Thorin lets Fili believe he's a skeptic and not just a cynical old man who's seen too much hurt already.

Thankfully Frerin is as much of a romantic as ever so he happily babbles to Fili while Thorin sits in his chair, rubs his wrist, and thinks that frankly he'll never have time for a soulmate.

Kili is a nightmare most the time, and Thorin tries not to cry when he comes home one day with two slightly older kids named Tauriel and Legolas and promptly causes _chaos_ in the kitchen. At least Tauriel is apologetic, but Legolas and Kili continue to throw flour and dough and whatever the concoction they'd tried to make around the kitchen, and Thorin has them cleaning it for _hours_ afterwards. Fili thinks it's hilarious, and Thorin smacks the boy around the head while Dis giggles in the corner at her two boys.

Nori gets a stable job eventually, and when he tells Thorin he's joined the research team down at the Bonding Office Thorin's first thought is to ask about Frerin's yellow mark. He doesn't dare ask what a blue mark means, but he does remember the yellow line around Frerin's wrist. Nori just frowns and shrugs but tells Thorin he will look into it.

The next question is more Kili's though, and Thorin is delighted to see his nephew's face when Nori explains to him that the pink mark around Kili's wrist just means that he's in for  a sensual bond. Kili surprisingly settles down once he finds out, and Dis tells Thorin that she believes _knowing_ what his bond means has made Kili feel better about everything.

Dwalin comes back and settles down with Nori briefly, but soon takes up more and more tours. He's gone for such long amounts of time though, and Nori always looks sad despite everyone's attempts to cheer him up. Thorin still has a large amount of concern for whatever is happening in that relationship, but his interest in bonds has faded enough now that he just leaves them to it.

But other things happen. Happier things. 

Nori and Thorin throw a party to celebrate Thorin's second promotion from Gandalf, and at the party Dori and Thorin's cousin Oin meet. The two instantly hit it off; probably to do with the green platonic marks glowing on their wrists, and Thorin can't help himself from smiling at that little bit of happiness.

Thorin's latest promotion allows him to make friends with Gandalf Grey easily, and one day he spots that his boss has a green mark as well. He makes a comment on it during one of their meetings, and he's surprised when his elderly boss _doesn't know what it means_. He feels heart broken for the man, but quickly explains the meanings of the marks he knows before shuffling his boss off to a lunch date with Dori and Oin. He's thankful for the two of them cooperating, especially considering Oin has always been an over grown pain in the ass, but Dori is especially helpful. The two of them drag Gandalf into their social circle and Thorin is stoked to see his boss grinning more and more often.

His two nephews grow up into a wonderful pair. Fili, at seventeen, decides to join the military, and Thorin's eye twitches when he thinks of Dwalin. He tells his friend on the phone reluctantly, and Dwalin's guffaws could have been heard from where he was on the other side of the blood world with how loud he was.

Thorin takes it in stride though, and he joins Frerin in training Fili up into passing the fitness test. It's a good bonding experience, and Frerin and Thorin hold each other and pretend to fake cry when Fili has his marching out parade after finishing all training, causing an awesome blush to turn up on Fili's cheeks while Dis and Kili roll their eyes.

Everything is just _wonderful_ , until Thorin gets another knock on the door late at night to see an army official standing there with a stern look on his face.

 

 

It's Frerin. Of course it's Frerin. 

Thorin feels his world drop out from underneath him when he hears the news of Frerin's accident. Dis's crying could be heard from the living room and Kili was desperately trying to shake Thorin out of whatever space he'd suddenly fallen into. He finally does snap out of it, but it's only when he sees Kili's tearful face as he begs for Thorin to "help, I don't know what to do".

He manages to get Fili home from his current tour. It's a complete shambles and the military cocks it up, but Fili gets home the day before the funeral only to be swamped by his mother and Thorin quickly gathers what's left of his little family into his arms and refuses to let go. There are only four of them now… only _four_.

It makes Thorin feel sick when he is informed of the opportunity to see what's left of his brother, but he dutifully tells the others. Fili asks to come with him but Kili readily decides to stay home and look after his mother. Dwalin turns up the day of the viewing with Nori in tow, and Nori quickly goes to distract the other two while Dwalin kicks Thorin from the drivers seat and takes the wheel. Thorin is thankful, and he reaches back to hold Fili's hand the whole way to the funeral home.

"He met his soulmate," Fili says later when they're standing in the stuffy room with Frerin and all three of them see the yellow markings up Frerin's arm. Thorin can't stop himself from reaching out to touch his brother's arm, wincing at the cold feeling on his fingertips, and he smiles sadly as he strokes the words.

"I wonder where they are now," he murmurs, and Fili reaches out to hold his free hand and Thorin clings to his nephew.

They leave him alone with his brother for a short time, and Thorin takes the opportunity to hold his brothers hand and whisper his own personal goodbye.

"I'll miss you, Frerin," he says into the silent stuffy room and he can feel tears on his cheeks that he chooses not to brush away, "you always were a pain in the ass but you were _our_ pain in the ass. You meant so much to me, to Dis. Especially after our parents and Vili died… you were part of the glue that held us all together. I love you, always will," he leans down and presses a soft kiss to Frerin's hand, "and I'm pretty sure that _you_ were the favourite uncle."

The funeral is short and awkward, and Thorin grits his teeth as he reads out a speech with Dis at his side and a lump in his throat. Fili and Kili are in front of him clinging to each other, and Thorin can't look at them without thinking about how _anything_ could happen to them and, just like Frerin and Vili and his parents, he'll be powerless to stop it.

It's when Frerin is being lowered into the ground that Thorin apologizes to him. He'd never wanted this to happen, and even though he knows it's not his fault a small part of him carries the blame. Fili is standing beside him at the time, and Thorin leans into his hug when his nephew reaches for him.

"The military is dangerous," he can't stop himself from murmuring to his nephew, and he feels Fili stiffen before Thorin forces himself to carry on. He refuses to be like Dis. He refuses to demand that Fili leave the military because of an _accident_. "Take care of yourself."

Fili is obviously in disbelief, and Thorin smiles tightly at him. “We can’t lose you too, Fili," he continues, "this is your passion, I understand that and I would _never_ ask you to give that up. But you have to promise that we won’t lose you like we just lost Frerin.”

Fili’s mouth stays hanging open for a long moment, and Thorin finds the sight endearing, before he finally shakes his head. “I can’t promise that, Uncle, you know-”

“At least _try_ ,” Thorin practically pleads as he cuts him off, and when Fili eventually nods his head Thorin wraps him into another hug. “He was so _proud_ of you, Fili. We all are.”

He finds Dis that night sitting in the hallway outside of Kili's room. Both of the boys are curled up in Kili's bed, and Thorin sinks to the ground beside Dis as he peeks through the door and watches them beside her.

"There's only four of us now," Dis murmurs, and Thorin reaches out to clasp their hands together as she leans into his side. "I can't risk losing anyone else, Thorin."

"You won't," he rasps, and he feels a water droplet land on the back of his hand. He glances down to see Dis's eyes filled with tears, and she looks up at him with such a _painful_ look.

"You can't promise that," she whispers, "no one can."

Thorin purses his lips before he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead. Her sobs hurt his ears, and he pulls her into a tight hug as he tries to push the hurt away.

Two weeks later he bundles Fili into the car in the wee hours of the morning and drives him half-an-hour away to the drop off point for Fili's next tour. His heart breaks the whole way but he holds his head up and squeezes Fili's knee in reassurance as they drive, and when they stand outside the truck in the cool night air he gathers Fili up into a hug once more and mutters, "you better come home in one piece."

Fili laughs, says "I promise", before he climbs into the back of the truck, and Thorin keeps waving goodbye until the truck has disappeared around the bend and he loses sight of Fili.

 

 

The house feels emptier than before, and Thorin finds sitting in the living room late at night lonelier than ever. There's no Frerin to sit beside him or Fili to laugh with him. Sometimes Kili hovers in the doorway, but Thorin knows Kili has never been very good with words so he doesn't blame his nephew when he walks away.

He's embarrassed though when Kili catches him calling up Frerin's old phone, and Thorin feels ashamed when he awkwardly explains to him that sometimes… sometimes he calls Frerin's phone just to hear his voice again. He doesn't know if he's comforted or pained when Kili sits beside him and says, "so do I, Uncle."

Fili contacts them as much as possible, and one time he tells them about "Wicket", or Elizabeth. Frerin's soulmate, who happens to be on the same tour with Fili. Thorin looks at a picture of her and smiles as he touches her face. It makes sense that she'd be Frerin's soulmate, he thinks. She looks perfect for him.

It's when Gandalf hits seventy-two and decides that retirement _is_ for him, despite Thorin having spent the last two years trying to convince him that it's not true, and he surprises Thorin by giving him one last promotion. He's humbled and of course he argues, but Gandalf insists enough that Thorin relents. Though he proposes the idea to be partners until Gandalf is seventy-five just so Thorin can learn the trade properly without _destroying_ the company, and despite being reluctant Gandalf agrees to his terms as long as he's allowed to still leave the country for his "big OE".

Then Thorin promptly surprises him more by asking if he may join Gandalf on the first leg of his journey. Gandalf flounders for a while before heartily agreeing, and Thorin quickly packs his bags to join his old friend for a trip up to the tip of the country.

He doesn't tell Gandalf why he wishes to join, but the way the old man just organizes everything and doesn't put pressure on Thorin, even though Thorin was the one who insisted on coming, makes Thorin think that maybe Gandalf already knows why.

He's just tired is all. His sister is so _sad_ now, having lost everyone but her sons and one of her brothers. Kili is constantly trying to distract himself, Fili is hardly heard from, and Thorin feels lonely and isolated. So he goes with Gandalf because getting away from the suffocating sadness sounds _perfect_.

Of course, one day Gandalf sits down beside Thorin with a dramatic sigh. Thorin rolls his eyes, but turns to his friend anyway.

"You know Thorin," Gandalf says, "people come and go-"

"Seriously?" Thorin interrupts, "you're going to… Gandalf, please."

Gandalf stops but he raises his eyebrow. "I won't if you don't want me to," he reaches out and touches Thorin's arm with a smile, "but just remember, I'm here if you need me. For anything. Just remember."

It's suppose to be an entire week away, but _nothing every goes right for Thorin_ and after only three full days of peaceful relaxing by a wonderful lake in a too small cottage Thorin gets a phone-call. He jumps at the shrill tone breaking through the silence, and Gandalf sends him an alarmed look, before he scrambles to pick it up.

The news on the other end? Not good. It's never good.

It's Fili this time, Fili who's being pulled out of the field. At first Thorin has the sinking feeling that his nephew is… is _dead_ , but thankfully he's reassured that Fili is, for all intensive purposes, safe and okay.

As soon as he hangs up he has to tell Gandalf, and he shakily books the soonest flight back. It's early in the morning and Thorin feels guilty asking Gandalf to drop him off, but the old man just insists and soon they're hovering in the local airport's waiting room at four in the morning. 

The whole wait has Thorin panicking, and he knows that Gandalf is soon tiring of him. He can't help it though, and eventually the boarding signal comes on. Gandalf hurries off briefly to the bathroom, and Thorin decides to wait for him before he disappears towards his plane.

Although… strangely enough, it's in the moment when he's standing in the middle of some random airport terrified out of his wits and worrying frantically about the state of what's left of his small family that _it_ happens.

 _It_ , being his _soulmate_.

He's waiting impatiently for Gandalf in the middle of the hallway with his carry-on bag slung over his shoulder when a small man comes busting out down one of the hallways. It's obvious he's so wrapped up in his own world, or maybe the book held tightly in his hand, that Thorin honestly isn't too surprised when the man literally _stumbles_ down the corridor. He doesn't pay much attention to him otherwise, but he does find it strange that of all the strangers walking the corridors at this time of night, it's _this_ one that catches his eye.

Well, not just his eye really as Thorin lets out a sudden yelp as the small man crashes _right into him_ and sends both of them flailing to the ground with a thump and equally loud cries of surprise.

God, it _hurts_ , Thorin thinks first. His carry-on bag is half jammed under his side and he can feel the zip cutting into his skin where his shirt has hitched up, his nose aches from where the other man's book had smashed into it, and the man himself is lying on top of Thorin's chest, a surprisingly heavy weight despite his size, and slowly crushing him.

Thorin tries to say something, but all that comes out is a crushed gurgling sound. Luckily it gets the other man's attention though and he flings himself off of Thorin with a gasp before grabbing Thorin's hand to drag him up into a sitting position.

The tingling in his hand when theirs meet should've really clued Thorin in, but he was too busy trying to think through the sudden pounding in his head.

"I'm sorry!" the man squeaks out in a ridiculously high pitch and worried voice, and Thorin almost doesn't register the words… but he _does_ register the burning on his arm and he glances down to see the red words around his wrist starting to move in a gentle kind of wave…

"It's no problem," Thorin finds himself just _saying_ , and his voice is gentle and full of wonder, and he looks up to see the other man looking at their clasped left hands in just as much surprise before he slowly raises his eyes.

Yeah, Thorin thinks as he looks into ridiculously gorgeous eyes and a ridiculously gorgeous face, his soulmate is _perfect_.

"I-" the other man starts to say, but he cuts himself off as his hand flexes around Thorin's and his mouth just seems to be stuck in a permanent "o" shape.

"Thorin," he introduces himself with a small smile, and the other man grins as he squeezes Thorin's hand and seems to shuffle closer.

"Hi, Thorin," he says, and Thorin feels butterflies at the way his name sounds from his… his _soulmate_. "I'm Bil-"

"Thorin?"

The entire moment is suddenly shattered, and Thorin tugs his hand away as Gandalf approaches with a raised eyebrow. He glances back at the other man who looks a bit startled, and Thorin opens his mouth to say something only for Gandalf to call out again.

"Your flight, Thorin? Fili?"

Of course. Reality crashes back down around him, shocking him from the haze he'd been hovering in, and Thorin scrambles up from the floor as he thinks _Fili, right, Fili_. 

"I-" he starts to say to his soulmate, he doesn't even know his _name_ , but his words are cut off by the PR system kicking in overhead, and he hears his name being called out. He pales. He didn't realise how long he'd been waiting for Gandalf.

"Thorin," his soulmate starts, but Thorin shakes his head.

"I have to go," he says as he picks up his carry-on and starts to backtrack down the corridor with a bemused Gandalf trailing behind him, "I'm so sorry. But…"

It's okay, he thinks as he just stumbles away and races towards his plane and the final boarding call. He never really believed he'd find his soulmate anyway.

 

 

Fili's new black mark is what greets him when he walks trough the door. It causes a pain in Thorin's chest, and he automatically tugs his shirtsleeve down to hide his new red mark on his arm. It would be awful to let Fili see it, and he bites his lip before he moves forward to approach his nephew sitting in one of the armchairs by the fire.

"Hey Fili," he says softly, and it's shocking to see the blank face of Fili's turn up to meet him. There's nothing but pain there, and Thorin reaches out expecting to be rebuffed.

He's surprised when Fili lets out an awful noise as he flings himself at Thorin. He shares a startled glance with Dis, but he doesn't resist as Fili curls into him sobbing his heart out.

"I can't remember him," he's crying, and Thorin is completely bewildered as he sinks to the ground and pillows Fili into his chest. "I can't… Uncle Thorin, I can't remember anything about him. It was dark, and there was mud… _nothing_. I remember _nothing_."

Thorin gathers then and there that Fili must be talking about his soulmate, the one who died and gave him this awful black mark… _around the wrist no less_ , and Thorin shushes him gently as he rocks them back and forth while pressing kisses into his hair. Kili and Dis stand in the doorway clutching each other, and Thorin finds that he can't even look at them without fear of himself breaking down.

"You'll be alright," he murmurs, "I promise."

He doesn't understand for a long time why those words make Fili scream and sob and thrash in his arms, but it's later when he hears the full story from Wicket that he understands just what he did wrong…

 

 

It makes Thorin laugh when people think he's oblivious. Like when Fili and Nori think they're kind by not telling Thorin what a yellow mark means. He gathers very quickly what it means. It's not that hard, and _god_ does it hurt to know that his brother was never destined to have a happy life with his soulmate, but at least he _knows_.

It's also not that hard to know what a blue mark means. Thorin's been positive about it meaning unrequited love for _years_ , but it's not until he sees the blue mark on Kili's friend, Tauriel, that he really pieces it all together.

Watching Nori walk into that restaurant with the knowledge of a blue mark on his face is painful for Thorin to see, but he'd never expected… well, _Dwalin and Ori_ to be soulmates. Especially not for it to happen right in front of Nori.

"Go after him!" he screams at Dwalin as Nori rushes from the restaurant, but Dwalin is standing speechless and he looks so completely _destroyed_ that Thorin turns and rushes after their friend himself.

He holds his friend as he falls apart in the car park and hopes that this time is the last time _anyone_ gets hurt because of this damn soulmate business.

His own mark burns unpleasantly on his arm, a reminder of what he walked away from. But he ignores it and focuses instead of trying to reconcile with Nori.

Every time he tries though, they fight. He understands why. He understands that Nori needs someone to blame and Thorin is the perfect candidate, but he still hates every moment of their strained friendship with all of his being. He doesn't blame Dwalin for what happened, or even little Ori, but he does blame himself for not stopping everything before it all happened.

He sees that Nori has Bofur though, and while he doesn't really know Bofur, he knows happiness. Seeing Nori smile again makes him think that leaving Nori in Bofur's capable hands is okay for a while.

So he helps his nephew and cherishes his family. He makes friends with Wicket over email and phone conversations, and they talk about Frerin until Thorin's hand seizes and he loses his voice. It's the first time in a long time that thinking about his brother actually brings a smile to his face, and Thorin can't thank Wicket enough.

The thing with Nori though? It comes to a head weeks later when Thorin gets a desperate call at two in the morning from a frantic Bofur asking for _help_. He leaps out of bed instantly, accidentally waking up Fili in the next-door room with his thumping about, and the boy asks him if he needs any help with anything.

"It's okay, Fili," he shushes as he kisses the boy's forehead as he rushes out the door, "just Nori's got up to trouble and needs me to bail him out. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Fili nods weakly before Thorin closes the door behind him and races for his car. He meets a nervous Bofur in the middle of town, and very quickly the two of them are trying to find a no doubt drunk and disorderly Nori wandering around in one of these clubs.

They do find him in Club Pizzazz, one of the worst clubs in this forsaken city, and it's Bofur who starts yelling frantically as Thorin pulls some macho ass _rapist_ off his friend and punches him square in the jaw. Nori is completely out of it, murmuring some incoherent words as Bofur checks his mouth and eyes and _everything_ to make sure he's just drunk and hasn't been _drugged_ or anything.

Thorin feels wretched at the sight of his friend, and he punches the guy in the face once more just to make himself feel a little better.

Somehow they get him home and Thorin waits until Nori wakes up in the morning before he gives him a lecture and a half. He feels guilty, especially when he realizes that Dwalin came over to tell Nori about the impending wedding, but not enough to not lecture his friend about _safety for gods sake_.

"Whatever happened to your soulmate?" Nori asks him when Thorin is finished lecturing him, and Thorin feels his stomach roll unpleasantly at the reminder.

He thinks about the sweet small man at the airport, and he closes his eyes briefly to think about him. Beautiful eyes, bouncy curls, a genuine adoring smile… Thorin just hates that he never found out his name and he's so _angry_ with himself.

"I don't know," he answers truthfully, and Nori raises an eyebrow at him, "I met him in the airport right after Fili's soulmate passed. I didn't stay long enough to find out who he is."

"You chose-"

"Fili over my own soulmate," Thorin finishes for him, and his smile feels empty. "I had to. Fili needed me, and maybe if it's meant to be then I will meet my soulmate again."

Nori doesn't seem to have anything to say, and Thorin doesn't blame him. Walking away from ones soulmate willingly? Unheard of.

"Listen, Nori," Thorin starts up once more and Nori turns to look at him. "One day you'll throw out that sweater of his that I know is still in your closet, take down the pictures of you both from the wall, and you'll _move on_. That could be in a week, a month, a year. It doesn't matter. What matters though is that you _reach_ that day," he pauses to smile at Nori, "and with Bofur lingering in the sidelines? I don't think that day is very far away."

"He has a soulmate."

"His arm is blank, Nori," Thorin sighs and shakes his head at his friends stupidity, "don't stop yourself from being happy. You deserve it as much as everyone else."

Nori seems to flounder for words and Thorin just smiles. They don't say much else, and Thorin just hugs Nori once more before ushering him back into bed to recover with his blasted hangover.

As he leaves Nori to Bofur's capable hands, he can't help but smile. That's one friendship repaired. 

 

 

He visits Dwalin soon after, and he walks into his friends house to see Dwalin with his head in his hands.

"I've ruined everything," Dwalin says quietly, and Thorin drops beside his friend with a huff and presses his hand to Dwalin's back. "I've broken Nori's heart, I've broken my heart, Ori is upset constantly because he's worried he's ruined his brother's shot at happiness… and it's all my fault."

"Don't think like that," he chastises, and Dwalin raises his head to look at him with a forlorn look. Thorin smiles. "Seriously, Dwalin. You haven't done anything wrong."

"I could've picked him," Dwalin insists, "I could've said no to Ori and chosen Nori instead. I could've followed him out of that restaurant and held him close and told him that nothing would ever change."

"That would've been a lie, though."

Dwalin grimaces and drops his gaze to the ground. "It would've," he agrees, and Thorin rubs his hand between his friend's shoulder blades before letting his arm fall to his side.

"You know," he eventually says after a long moment, "Nori doesn't blame you. You're happy, Ori is happy. It's all he ever wanted."

"Nori wanted to live happily ever after."

"Maybe he'll get that too," and when Dwalin looks at him in shock, Thorin can't help but smile. "You remember Bofur right? Turns out he has no soul-mark. And he seems to be completely in love with Nori too."

Dwalin laughs. "Is it bad that maybe I'm jealous?"

Thorin snorts and pushes Dwalin hard enough that he falls off the sofa and to the ground. "Get a grip, Durin," he says, "you can't have both of them." 

That seems to be enough though, and Dwalin's features lighten up considerable as he shyly asks about Nori and Bofur. Thorin grins as he starts to tell him about the gentle courtship that Bofur had come up with, and even though Dwalin seems to find it painful to hear he still listens, and smiles in the right places and laughs at the right times. 

It's a good step, and when Thorin leaves his friend's house he thinks that maybe taking steps is the way to go about it.

 

 

It seems that as soon as Thorin puts his mind to it, everything _finally_ starts to go well. 

Gandalf returns with a grin on his face that Thorin has never seen, and it's during one of their lunch dates that another elderly man dressed _terribly_ turns up beside Gandalf and introduces himself as Radagast. Thorin sees the way the two grin at each other, are comfortable in each others space, and even the matching green marks on their left arms and he has to hide his own grin behind his mug of coffee.

Dwalin and Ori get married and Thorin is best man. He stands at the alter beside Dwalin and worries for Nori. Not that he needs to when he sees Bofur sitting beside Nori with their hands tightly wound together, and Thorin could almost cry when he sees Dwalin and Nori smiling at one another tentatively. He catches them talking later, and he approaches them both with a smile.

"Time for a do over?" he asks, and Dwalin drags him into a headlock while Nori laughs, and Thorin wonders if maybe finding one's soulmate should never really rely on some silly markings on a wrist.

Even Fili starts to recover properly. Thorin knows that he won't ever fully recover, no matter how many times people will reassure him. Fili will be… _broken_ for a long time, and Thorin doesn't want to accept it. 

But Wicket comes over for Christmas as promised, and Thorin almost cries alongside Dis as Fili throws himself at the lady and _laughs_. It's beautiful to see, and there's definitely tears in everyone's eyes when they sit down at the table and for the first time in a long time Fili is the one leading the conversation with a grin.

Thorin even manages to catch Wicket alone at one point, and the two of them sit outside in the evening air listening to Dis laughing with her two boys in the living room at some show on TV.

"Thank you," Wicket murmurs to him, and Thorin looks at her in surprise. She smiles and continues, "for letting me come and be part of your family. I never expected anything like this to happen."

"We should be the ones thanking you," Thorin disagrees, "we haven't seen Fili like that in a long time. Not since he lost his soulmate. _You're_ the one who brought back that smile."

Wicket smiles. "I think it was you, actually," she says, "you and his mother and brother, maybe especially his brother. I've never seen brothers so close."

"They've been like that for years," Thorin laughs, "they used to be inseparable. But now I'm thankful for it. Fili needs someone, and Kili seems willing to be that someone."

Wicket smiles at him and Thorin is surprised to see tears in her eyes.

"I wish Frerin was here," she says with a small smile, "just so he could be the one sitting beside me and telling me all about his family. I miss what could have been."

"There's nothing worse than an _almost_ , is there?" he agrees quietly, and his mark burns as he says it. He glances down at his exposed arm and he's surprised when Wicket settles her hand over top of the red words.

"You'll find him again," she tells him with such certainty that Thorin almost believes her. "Everyone has someone out there, no matter what."

Thorin is speechless at her words, but he chooses not to argue as he thinks about how much he wants that to be true. Especially for someone like Fili who has lost _everything_.

So that's why he smiles brightly when he sees Fili and Kili curled up together on the couch a few weeks later, laughing at some dumb cartoon, and Thorin wonders if it's just his imagination that makes him see… see a faint _purple_ marking on both of his nephews forearms.

He must be imagining it. There's never been anything recorded about a bond forming later in life, but Thorin doesn't rule out the possibility.

He just smiles though and leaves his nephews to it.

 

 

The last loose end? Thorin himself.

Everyone else is happy, or as happy as can be. They're all bonded, or not bonded and happy, or dealing with not being bonded. But Thorin? Thorin is still struggling to deal with the fact that he walked away.

He doesn't even know his soulmate's name, and he so angry with himself for not staying around to hear it. He can't even find his soulmate if he tried. No name, no idea where he lives or what he does or _who he is_.

It's awful. But Thorin deals with it. After all, he never was supposed to meet his soulmate was he?

But then again, it's when he's finally given up that everything falls into place. It always seems to be the way.

He's standing in an art gallery, one of Gandalf's recommendations, and he has a glass of wine in one hand and a bitter look on his face. He's never understood art all that well, but Gandalf had insisted he come. The old man is on the other side of the room entertaining people with Radagast at his side, and Thorin's eyes drift to them briefly before he looks back at the art in front of him.

It's part of a collection on "losing one's soulmate". He's thankful he didn't bring Fili or Dis to this, although Wicket still came with Kili and the two of them are no doubt amongst the patrons causing chaos. Thorin tries not to think about said chaos, and he focuses instead on looking at the portrait of an anguished face and black words on a pale arm.

"It must be painful to lose one's soulmate," a small soft voice speaks out beside Thorin, and something is familiar about that voice. Familiar enough to make Thorin's fingers tingle and his eyes widen.

Of course it's because the person who spoke, the one who's standing right beside him, is none other than his _soulmate_.

Thorin opens his mouth to speak, but he's cut off by his soulmate looking up at him with blazing eyes and a very furious look on his face. It renders Thorin speechless, and even though he doesn't appreciate art he can't help but think that his soulmate is beautiful even when riled up in rage.

"Oh wait," his soulmate says sarcastically, "I would know. It's an odd story. Would you like to hear it?"

"I-"

"See, one day I was just walking along a corridor in an airport, head in my book and mind in the clouds as per usual," his soulmate starts, and Thorin automatically starts gulping down his wine as if that'll help him have courage, "when suddenly I blundered across this _gorgeous_ great big oaf who'd just been standing in the corridor. We both tumbled to the ground, undoubtedly both got this odd tingling feeling in our chest, and we _both_ had the bonded reaction when our hands touched."

"Can I just-"

"He introduced himself," his soulmate plows on, "but when I went to introduce myself, do you know what he did?"

He waits. He actually waits as if to make Thorin answer himself and Thorin flounders for words as his soulmate turns fully to look at him. Thorin finds himself caught in a piercing stare that he just wants to melt under, and his mouth opens and closes a few times before he finally manages to murmur, "I'm so sorry."

"He _runs away_ ," his soulmate snaps as if he hadn't heard Thorin, "we've just met, experienced an _amazing_ feeling of connection, and then he just ups and leaves? I dare say, he better have one _hell_ of a reason to have done so."

"My nephew," Thorin blurts out, "his soulmate had just passed and I…" he struggles for words, "I chose him over you and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't think and I should've at least gotten your name-"

He's suddenly cut off by the very small man in front of him taking a few steps forward, wrapping his arms around Thorin's neck, and promptly crushing their lips together. It sets everything in Thorin on fire, and he freezes up for the briefest of moments before he throws himself into the sweet _sweet_ kiss and just _melts_.

Everything in him is alive and everything is amazing, and Thorin wraps his arms tightly around his soulmate and kisses and _kisses_ him until all he can see is stars and those beautiful eyes when he opens his own.

"You're damn lucky Wicket is my cousin," his soulmate breathes when the two of them part, and Thorin's breath fans against his soulmate's face just as his soulmate's fans against his. They grin at each other happily, and Thorin can't stop himself from leaning forward to kiss those soft lips again.

"Thorin Durin," he manages to say between kisses, and his soulmate laughs as he kisses both of Thorin's cheeks and presses their foreheads together.

"Bilbo," he says, "Bilbo Baggins."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.
> 
> Total collection of Marks:
> 
> Green - Platonic  
> Red - Romantic  
> Black - Ended because of death  
> Purple - Family  
> Blue - Unrequited  
> Yellow - Soulmates words are the last ones you ever hear  
> Pink - Sensual only  
> Grey - Sexual only  
> Brown - Severed  
> None - No bond, or possibly bonded to a person with a vocal disability
> 
> (I hope you all enjoyed, and I thank every single one of you for the reception of this fic, for the amazing comments and encouragement I've gotten. Honestly, I've teared up one too many times at the comments that you've all left. You're all just so wonderful, and you're all perfect. Thank you <3)
> 
> [my tumblr](http://resacon1990.tumblr.com/)


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